


Bucky and The Bed

by that_damn_girl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Attempt at Humor, Avenger Reader (Marvel), Awkward Boners, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bed Sex, Bedroom Sex, Blow Jobs, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Character Study, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bucky Misses Steve, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Captain America Sam Wilson, Character Study, Come Swallowing, Comfort, Comfort No Hurt, Comfort Reading, Comfort Sex, Confessions, Consent, Creampie, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute Ending, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Fluffy Ending, Frenemies Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gentle Kissing, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Huddling For Warmth, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, Lovesick Reader, Lovesickness, Making Love, Making Out, Male-Female Friendship, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Pining, Naked Cuddling, Neck Kissing, Only One Bed, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Originally Posted on Tumblr, POV Second Person, Penis In Vagina Sex, Penises, Pining, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Coital Cuddling, Pre-Relationship, Reader and Sam Wilson are old friends, Reader-Insert, Relationship(s), Respectful Bucky Barnes, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Self-Indulgent, Sex, Sex after a long time, Sexual Content, Sharing, Sharing Body Heat, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Sleeping Together, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Snow, Soft Bucky Barnes, Soft sex, Some Humor, Stranded, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love, Trust, Tumblr, Uncircumcised Penis, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Wade Wilson is a Good Friend, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, comforting bucky barnes, consent is important, lovesick Bucky Barnes, male consent is important too, one bed, so much cuddling, soft smut, there's only one bed, this fic is highly self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:08:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27204298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_damn_girl/pseuds/that_damn_girl
Summary: You and Bucky are stranded in the middle of snowy nowhere when there is an ‘electronic blackout’ during your mission. With no backups or any way to contact your team, you take refuge from the worsening weather in the only cabin you find in miles. Not to mention, with no power, Bucky’s become your personal heater and there’s only one bed.[All chapters were uploaded in one go][Chapters with smut are marked (~) in the index]
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 34
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally planned on writing just a long oneshot, but one idea lead to another and here it is, my first series! I took some inspiration from 'Spy Kids 2’ and 'Charlie’s Angeles’(2019).

An unfortunate mix up of thoughts and words. A slip of tongue. It was a _simple_ case of a slip of tongue, which created havoc in not only the building but also Bucky’s life.

It was one of the few rare occasions when the entire team was around. Like a family, not by blood but by feelings and emotions. Though a few were lost to fate, some to distance, one to time, they stayed together. Available for each other, always there for each other. Loving each other, taunting each other. Helping each other, making each other stronger. Trusting each other, never to betray each other’s trust.

You were one of them too, recruited when Sam was, the new Captain America, his other best friend and partner in crime. You helped Steve Rogers, the former Captain America, take down the parasite in S.H.I.E.L.D. Helped him get back his lost friend, fought the world beside him. Formed with him one of the few platonic relationships you knew you would cherish for life. Fought aliens, got dusted, and got back only to discover him gone to another century, without any chance of being recovered. A curse or a blessing, you were still to process.

Although hurt, the team was recovering. Together. New relationships were formed, old ones were mended. Some out of loneliness, some out of guilt. Some platonic, some not so much.

As the entire team was around, free of missions for a while, free of saving the world, free of helping build the lost world order, free of looking after everyone but themselves, they decided to have some fun. Drink and let loose amongst themselves. Be happy and make those around them happy. They decided on the forever classic, alcohol induced truth and dare.

They were a group of superheroes, some of them having been traveled to different planets even. It was safe to say they were daring. _Very daring_. So much so that hardly anyone chose 'truth’, and the ones that did were bullied into taking 'dare’. More than half the group was composed of spies, assassins, and a mind reader. They knew more than half the truths anyway.

As the bottle spun, your age-old best friend’s turn came. You dared Sam to twerk. A collection of _ooh_ s and _aah_ s rose. Everyone wanted to know what the new America’s Ass looked like in action.

“Aw, man! Don’t you got something else?” He protested.

“Don’t be a chicken, Sammy.”

“Chicken, your ass.” That was all the prompting he needed. He confidently walked to the center of the room, supported himself on his knees, and moved his hips in the sinful motion, jutting his ass out with some extra effort every time he went low. Oh, he twerked well, really well.

“Hey sweetcheeks, c'mon join in.” and that was all the invitation you needed. None but he knew the true and raw magic in your hips. 

You went just as confidently and started twerking. You were the best of the best in this regard. The cheering you both received with your asses wiggling in the air then was much raunchier. You enjoyed the attention.

Bucky enjoyed the sight.

Bucky knew that things had become wild in the twenty-first century, but discovering that the obscene movements you and Sam did with your butts was accepted, enjoyed and encouraged openly was another shocking piece of information he had received. Not that he was complaining. If he had thought Sam did well, you were a whole another level of fineness in his eyes.

Enamoured as he was already with you, his eyes couldn’t leave the enrapturing movement of your divine hips. He didn’t understand how one could move their hips in such a flawless and mesmerizing manner.

He had meant to say, 'How the fuck do you do that?’. Somehow, he remembered that people today used 'do’ as another term for 'fuck’. Somehow, the line re-entered his brain as, 'How the fuck do you fuck that?’. Most of his attention was on your hips. He was mostly unconscious of his thoughts at the moment. The end result?

“How do you fuck that?”

A pin-drop silence followed. All eyes, wide and surprised, turned to Bucky. You and Sam stopped your ministrations and turned to him too. Bucky didn’t understand why he became the center of attention all of a sudden. Until he did.

_Oh shit._

A couple of days later, you and Bucky were sent on a last minute mission together. A group of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents needed some more help. Well, to be true, a lot of help. Fierce and flawless, you and Bucky were equivalent to a mini-army together. Fury sent the pair of you in.

With your much needed help, the mission was a success despite the initial slim chances. The agents returned to the headquarters in their respective modes of transportation. Ever the diligent, you and Bucky decided to do a final sweep of the area before abandoning the site.

You were glad you did, because you both found a man not much later, seemingly your rival and half dead, tapping right and left furiously on a small white octagonal box. With a gun raised, both of you stalked towards him soundlessly. Before you could do anything as you approached him, with a single final push of his thumb, an almost invisible forceful wave rolled out of the white box, throwing you and Bucky off your feet.

You thought you had passed out for a second there. You felt dazed and your eardrums stung, the silence around you deafening. You looked around, tried to blink the haziness out of your eyes but couldn’t. Your limbs felt heavy. It was a difficult work to will your body to switch to an upright position. When you did, you saw Bucky on his knees, examining the unconscious man. Feeling nauseous and dizzy, you slowly made your way to him.

“Dead,” Bucky said, sighing in disappointment. You looked around yourself. The force blast hadn’t really disturbed anything other than yourselves in your sight. You needed to know why the man had his last breaths spent on operating that box instead of trying to run away for his life. Why had it caused what it did? What were the effects?

Feeling an impending doom, you asked, “What was it?”

Bucky shrugged. He turned towards the white octagonal box which laid half split, a few electric sparks coming out of it. “What is that?”

“Never seen anything like it before.” You said, pressuring your still fazed brain to recognize it. Deciding to take it in for S.H.I.E.L.D. to look into and identify what it was, you held the split pieces in your hands and after sweeping the area one more time, made your way back to the quinjet.

You couldn’t get the ramp at the hind side to set down. Usually, your voice activation was enough, but FRIDAY did not respond no matter how much you spoke. You tried to manually open it through the control panel embedded in the suit of your forearm but found out that it had shut down. You asked Bucky to do it, whose own control panel was in a similar situation. You tried to contact the headquarters with your comms. The comms were rendered useless too. “That’s weird.”

After you couldn’t even open the doors by the well-hidden mini control panel outside of the quinjet, you panicked. Never had this happened before, neither were you ever prepared for a situation like this.

Any and every electronic item in your reach didn’t work. Had one or few of your wireless gadgets malfunctioned, you would have understood the force blast had caused it. But this? It was total abandonment by the technology you and your life heavily relied on. And none of it worked. You failed to understand how it had happened. What would you call it? An 'electronic blackout’?

_Oh shitty shit._

Accepting that nothing would come out of your futile attempts, you and Bucky decided to look for shelter in the crisp winter air and over the two feet thick snow covered grounds. Whichever direction you craned your neck in, you’d only see towers of dark bottle green leaves atop white grounds, a gloomy atmosphere all around with the sun resting behind the thick clouds.

You tried to remember if there were any safe houses where you two were stranded. Nothing came to your mind. Feeling defeated and lost, you and Bucky kept walking in the direction he thought you could find civilization and help.

In time, the cold was getting to you. Bucky was a super soldier, but you were only a human. The suits you wore were made of a material meant to keep you warm despite being not much thick. However, they weren’t made for the extreme conditions you were currently in. Your ears were exposed to the much chilly winds which kept a constant inflow of tremors down your spine, and your gloves were fingerless. You didn’t realize it then that your boots had loosened, possibly due to the same force wave which had caused this blackout, and melted snow slipped down to your feet, worsening your state. You were screwed.

Nonetheless, you kept walking with arms wrapped around yourself, shivering continuously. Though the serum made Bucky much resistant to the cold than you, he wasn’t immune to it. He didn’t shiver, but his body felt the bite of the cold.

He noticed your shivering. He noticed you slowing down. You were taking much smaller steps, just following him, the unease from the cold not permitting you to think at all. He reached behind and pulled you to his side, wrapping his flesh arm around you and rubbing the parts of your arm accessible to him.

After the slip up a couple of days ago, the team had teased both him and you endlessly. They were brutal. He had apologized to you several times after that and explained what he had originally wanted to say. Honestly, you were heavily disappointed he didn’t really mean it. It was just a slip up and nothing more, no matter how much you wished it were.

Unknown to you, Bucky did like you, more than a friend, more than a confidante, but didn’t want to jeopardise your friendship. After losing Steve, he valued his close friendships even more. So he stuck to being friends, _just friends_. 

As his arm comforted you, you leaned into him, the tempting warmth of his body inviting you. You only nodded when he said, “Hopefully, we’ll find something here. It’s gonna be okay.” Your shoulder rested on his chest as you both walked along silently. You trusted him, so you followed his lead.

You walked for hours it seemed until he heard a frail dejected whisper, “Hey, Bucky,” his gaze swept over you, concerned. Your eyes were closed, body numb. He stopped walking and turned to you, holding your face in his flesh arm only.

“Hey, Y/N! Y/N, look at me. You’re strong. We’re gonna be ok, hmm? Tell me what’s wrong, sweety.” Your eyes were still closed, but you were consciousness. You felt tired, really tired. He hadn’t realised that for the last few minutes, Bucky was only dragging your semi conscious body with him.

You somehow willed your eye lids to open. Squinting at the inflow of light, you took him in. He looked scared, very scared.

“I don’t think I can walk anymore, Bucky. Tired, so tired.” The cold had gotten to you. Hours of walking against the wants of nature, especially after the dizziness you felt from the force wave which had thrown you off your feet. You were extremely exhausted.

“It’s ok, we’re gonna be okay!” He repeated the same lines over and over again, rubbing your face and arms in hopes to induce some warmth in your body. “We’re gonna find a warm place, Y/N. We just need some more time.”

Bucky looked around frantically, hoping to find a good enough spot for you, but all he saw was snow for miles and miles ahead in every direction. He stirred you to a nearby tree and leaned you against it.

“Y/N, Y/N look at me.” he caressed your cheek, “I’m gonna run ahead and find us a place real quick, okay? You need to help me. Stay here for me, alright? Do not move. Do not fall asleep. We’re gonna get you to a warm place, and there you can rest all you want.”

Leaving you against the tree, trusting you to stand upright and not fall into the snow, he went out in search of a hospitable place. Bucky swore he had never run as fast as he did that day. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears. The fear of something happening to you, of losing yet another _friend_ , it did something to him. He thanked God for making him a super soldier, so that he could run as fast as he did. But then thinking of you, he damned God for not making you one, or so your life wouldn’t have been in danger from such extreme cold.

After speeding through the thick layer of snow for miles, he found a cabin in a small clearing in the middle of nowhere, covered in snow all around. It definitely looked inhabitable. He climbed up the steps and was about to break the lock of the main door with his metal hand but thought better of it. He looked under the door mat and above the door panel and found a spare key which opened the door. _Idiots_ , he thought, but realised those idiots were the reason he had found shelter to keep you safe. Thanking his luck, something which he rarely did, he quickly ran back to fetch you.

Your limbs felt tied down to weights, your body felt numb and unresponsive. Your head ached mercilessly, and you shivered uncontrollably. Yet you leaned against the tree, fighting against yourself to stay upright. You didn’t know if your were feeling sleepy from exhaustion or were slipping into unconsciousness from the cold. Either way, you tried not to close your eyes for long intervals.

Bucky found you in a much worse state than he had left you in. When he took a hold of your shoulders to drag you again, you gave out a soundless whine, only puffs of translucent white coming out of your mouth.

“Walk no more Bucky, no more.” You couldn’t walk anymore and you couldn’t form a proper line either. Fearing your condition, Bucky panicked even more.

He put your hands securely around his neck, “Hold on tight, princess, okay? I found us a place. A warm place. Don’t you worry , princess.” He was more convincing himself than telling you.

You wordlessly nodded at him. He picked you up in his strong arms bridal style and jogged towards his destination, careful not to disrupt you much. Eyes closed again, your head lolled on his chest. You nuzzled closer to him, needing more of his warmth.

He looked down at you, eyes closed and brows furrowed, trying to keep the vicious cold out. You clutched onto him like your life depended on it. Well, it actually did.

“Just a few more moments, Y/N. Don’t close your eyes, doll. C'mon, please don’t.” He knew he whined like a baby, but didn’t care. “I need you to stay awake for me.”

You wanted nothing more than to be in his arms and sleep forever, but the desperate tone in his voice compelled you to open your eyes.

“Not sleeping, Buck. I’m awake.” you assured him in a faint whisper.

“That’s like my girl, Y/N.” He leaned down and gently kissed your forehead. It was just a small peck, but it warmed you up more that his body did. Moreover, he had called you _his girl_. Oh, if only he knew how much you wanted to be his girl. It caused your heart rate to increase, swarming your insides a little with butterflies.

You knew you needed to keep your eyes open and not fall into the grasp of unconsciousness. You needed a distraction from the cold biting at your exposed skin. As far as you could see, you only had the never ending white snow, dull cloudy sky and Bucky’s beautiful face in front of you. The latter was something you could gladly focus at endlessly. So you did.

You took in every feature of his charming face, how his dark hair contrasted his now pale skin, how the endless white around him brought out the majestic blue in his eyes, how his lips looked deliciously pink surrounded by his scruff, how much he looked like an angel - your saviour, your guardian.

Bucky sensed you staring at him and gently smiled at you. “Almost there, doll.” Yeah, you could be his doll forever.

As soon as he reached the abandoned house, he carried you through the already unlocked main door and set you down on the worn out couch. It was cold, and all the body heat which you had acquired from Bucky went into the comfortable but cold surface of the couch. However, you couldn’t do much except lay down and shiver, your mind blocking out all of your senses. 

None of the electronics seemed to work, so finding the radiator was a lost cause. Bucky glanced at the fireplace. Fortunately, there were enough logs to last a day if he used them smartly. He immediately put some logs inside the brick structure and fired them up. He only allowed himself to relish in the heat after he put aside the center table and pushed the couch which you sat upon closer to the source of blissful heat.

You looked nearly unconscious, wanting nothing than to give in to the seduction of sleep. Sighing, he moved towards you. Taking your hands in his, he said, “Doll, I told you I’d bring you to a warm place, didn’t I?” He slowly, affectionately stroked your hair. “I’m gonna get you some food and warm clothes. Be right back before you know it.” He brought your hands to his lips and kissed each once with considerable force. You moved your head in the slightest, which he could only assume was a nod.

You both were lucky you found a place to spend the night in. He didn’t know the exact time, but sensed it would be dark soon, and one look at the window confirmed his suspicions. Now all he had to do was keep you and him sound and safe until you figured out what to do about the situation and how to get back.

He looked around the house for its resources. The house looked old. The kitchen cabinets were somewhat adequately filled for a short stay and there was a separate gas cylinder and stove. Sure some of the items in the there were expired and the cylinder felt more than half empty when he lifted it, but he could make do with them. He had to.

The kitchen was directly behind the living room, and there were only one other room in the house. A bedroom with an attached bathroom. He quickly rummaged through the closets he saw and pulled out the only two single blankets and some warm clothes he could find.

He carried them to your considerably less shivering form. He knelt down and lifted your legs to open your boots. Finding your feet totally soaked, he cursed and dried them with a towel he had found. A new wave of warmth spread through you as you watched him fret over you.

He needed to get you out of the half soaked jumpsuit you wore. His own was soaked too, but you were more important at the moment.

He took your hands in his once again, “Y/N, princess, you need to get out of this wet suit.” He helped your reluctant form into a sitting position and placed a few of the warm clothes in your lap.

“I’ll be in the other room while you change, alright?” He turned to leave but you caught his wrist in your hand in a vice grip. He looked down at it and then your face, your eyes fluttering in and out of consciousness.

“Can you do it for me, Bucky?” Your soft voice asked him. You were too spent at the moment to remove a wet, sticky and skin tight suit from your body. Neither did you have the energy nor the patience. Lethargy had already nestled itself in you.

You didn’t like it at all. Not the part where your brain registered that Bucky would touch you in a way he hadn’t ever before. You hated the part where you so helpless. You were a grown ass woman, not needing anyone’s help in your self-made life. However, as the adrenaline had rushed out of your body long ago, you couldn’t care moving anymore after resting your limbs. Besides, it was Bucky you had asked help from. Not some arrogant prick, but your _sweet Bucky_.

He looked taken aback by your request, but gulping, he gently asked you, “Are you sure, Y/N?”

You took a moment to deeply look into his eyes before answering, “Yes Bucky, I trust you.” His heart swelled.

 _Trust_. What a simple thing it was. Could easily be broken by the ones you had known and trusted for longest in the blink of an eye, but took years upon years to form and strengthen. He knew not many people trusted him, the Winter Soldier inside him, which had become just as much of a part of him as his metal arm. But you did, and he reveled in it, his heart beating joyously.

He nodded and smiled at you once before his hands reached your zipper at the front of your jumpsuit. He pulled it down slowly and carefully. As soon as he saw the hint of your cleavage and the starting bulge of your breasts, he cast his eyes behind you after a second of taking it in, ~~no matter how much he wanted to divulge in the sight of you,~~ but kept pulling the zipper down until it reached its end. He was not going to take your advantage in anyway. He’d only take you in with your permission when you were as conscious as the day and not in the half unresponsive state you seemed to be in.

He pulled you up and stared to slide the fabric, which seemed to stick to your skin, down your shoulders. You rolled your shoulders back to help him. Warmth seeped in wherever he touched you, leaving a trail of goosebumps on your skin not only due to the cold but also for another reason entirely. He moved down and dragged your skinny jumpsuit off your legs.

You wore a pair of panties and sports bra beneath the suit, without any clasps. You needed to remove any and all the wet clothes off of you. Bucky didn’t know what to do next. You made the decision for him.

You grasped his head and forced his eyes on yourself, “It’s okay Bucky. I trust you.”

He nodded again, heart thrumming loudly as he took the sides of your bra in his hands, careful not to touch your breasts, and lifted it up and over your head, all the while looking at your eyes which fought to stay open. He would never ever take advantage of you, no matter how easy it would be. The initial resistance which he felt in the upliftment of your bra due to the swell of your breasts made him blush, but he manged to move pass it. He had undressed many dames during his time, but you were the first after being free from HYDRA.

You only had enough energy to push your panties down and let gravity do the work. You lightly kicked them and your suit away after they pooled at your feet. Bucky tried very hard not to think about the beauty in front of him in all her glory. Many thoughts invaded his mind, most of them sinful ones. His inner demons clawed at his soul to get _just a look_ , but god forbid he ever acted on them. You trusted him, he wasn’t going to let that trust go. He immediately grabbed a shirt and a pair of thick sweats from the couch behind you and made you wear them, eyes never once straying from yours.

After he covered you up in more layers, he made you sit down wrapped up in a thick layer of the only two blankets. He freed your hair from your ponytail, ruffling it a little for you. He quickly changed in the only other room and made a soup with the ingredients he could find. It tasted shit, but all your cared about was the heat it provided and the appetite it fulfilled.

He spoon fed you as you sat on the couch, wrapped up in the blankets like a cocoon, hands holding them tight around you. He would blow off the excess heat for you before bringing them to your lips, and repeated it patiently, affectionately. You appreciated it very much.

After having some for himself, he slouched down on the couch beside you, finally relaxing. You were more aware of your senses now, having recovered from the cold and exhaustion you had felt earlier with some food inside you now. However, your headache still persisted. You felt sleepy still, but not to the degree you thought you would collapse like before.

You looked at Bucky, who was under a few warm cloths himself but without a blanket, eyes closed and head rested on top of the backrest. You realised it was only one of the few times you had seen him truly relax. He looked really peaceful. Calm and serene, almost like a harmless baby. And oh so handsome.

Without any second thoughts, you shifted closer to him, snuggling into him. You repositioned the blankets so that it engulfed you both.

“You need it more than I do, doll.” He started to untangle himself but you held him close, “Just relax and come here, Bucky.”

Still stimulated from earlier, Bucky desperately tried not to think of the unintentional pun you used, or he’d soon have a situation going on downwards.

You knees were tucked under your chin as your entire body leaned on Bucky, your head and one of your palms resting on his chest, drawing random patterns. His flesh arm came up and pulled you further into his side as it circled around your shoulder and rubbed your upper arm. The motion so soothing and the warmth from not only the fireplace but also Bucky so alluring, you thought you’d enter the land of gleeful dreams right there.

You felt wholesome in that moment. Maybe it was because of the close proximity only, maybe something more. Whatever it was, you wanted to enjoy it thoroughly.

Nostalgia had hit Bucky when he was taking care of you. An unqualified nurse? Bucky was certified for that, courtesy to his scrawny blonde friend back in the day. He took care of you as he had for his friend. A sense of responsibility, worry, genuine concern, all had been there, but there was something more too. Something he couldn’t pinpoint. He had felt something tugging at his heart. He didn’t know what, but it did. It made him nervous and excited all at once, but he didn’t know what to make of it as the two of you sat in silence for long, drowned in your own thoughts.

Soon it was dark outside, the fireplace the only source of light. The atmosphere chilled even further. As Bucky came back to his place after adding more firewood, you immediately wrapped your arms around him, not liking the brief inflow of cool air when he had moved. You buried your head deep into his chest as much as you could from your position. He laughed. 

“Hey, Bucky,” he hummed in response. You leaned away a bit to look straight into his blue grey eyes.

“Thank you for everything.” You wanted to say so much more, but you felt overwhelmed.

Cupping your cheeks, he turned towards you, “No doll, you don’t need to thank me for that. I’ll always take care of ya, you know that right?”

You covered his palms and said, “No Bucky, you don’t understand. I was thinking, wondering what would’ve happened if you weren’t there. If I were alone…” The feminist in you didn’t want to admit it, but you knew that was the truth at the moment.

“I couldn’t even walk throughout. You carried me here, took care of me, changed me, fed me. You saved me today, Bucky. You saved me. If not for you…” Tears welled up in your eyes as you opened your mouth but nothing came out of it.

“Shh, shh, no honey,” He hugged you tightly, rubbing your back, “You’re safe, you’re fine.”

You sobbed into his neck, “God, I feel so pathetic, Bucky. You had to take care of me like a _baby_. I am a grown woman, an _Avenger_ , for heaven’s sake. Have been for years. I should’ve been stronger than that. And now I’m crying like a child.” Somehow, the realisation made you cry harder.

You didn’t know why it was happening, why you were crying _so_ _hard_. You’ve had near death experiences countless times before. Hell, you were even dusted, dead in a way, and brought back. This wasn’t much life threatening. You were safe. You were alive. Yet you continued grieving what could’ve happened but didn’t.

“Hey, hey, doll,” with one hand under your knees, Bucky took placed your sniffing form on his lap sideways. You head was still in the crook of his neck and his arms embraced you, enveloping you, keeping you away from any fears you had, any regrets you had. He rocked you fondly, his cheek on your head.

“It was the blackout Y/N, it wasn’t you.” He comforted you, “Y/N, this wasn’t our mission. Your mission was to back up our agents and you did, you did it perfectly doll. This…this is something none of us know about. It’s well below freezing temperature outside. You can’t win against the nature, doll.”

He rocked you and whispered soothing words until you had calmed down. You weren’t sure why you did that. Bucky and you had always been close, just like you and Sam. You confided in each other, supported and comforted each other. If you ever did show your vulnerable side, it was only in front of them. But it hardly ever came down to this.

“Sorry Bucky, you had to see that,” you pulled back a little to look at him. He wiped your tear stained cheeks with his thumb. His nonjudgmental eyes looked at you, an understanding smile on his face.

“Doll, it’s okay. You’ve let it all out, it’s good. You feeling alright now?” Although you still felt a little embarrassed by it, you mumbled out a small, “Yeah.”

“Fuck the snow for snow for making you cry.” You replied, “How do you fuck that?” You both laughed a little.

Lost in your eyes, his hand moved from caressing your cheeks to caressing your tender neck. You looked up at him but were unable to focus on any single feature of his. His eyes, so soft; his smile, so pure; his lips, so juicy.

You tucked a few strands of his hair behind his ear, your palm on his cheek. Bucky felt his heart dance around his chest. You leaned in to kiss his cheek, but he unknowingly moved his head following the descent of your eyes and you pecked the corner of his lips.

Unsure of what to do about it, you dropped your head in the crook of his neck, as if it were normal for friends to go around kissing the corner of each others mouth. It wasn’t. But you thought that if Bucky had a problem, he’d say something. He didn’t.

Bucky didn’t know if he was more remorseful or thankful for not fully turning his face and having your soft, luscious lips right on his.

It was then when all his nicknames started coming to you. Sure, he’d use them, but it was rare. That day you had heard more nicknames from him than you had in the entirety of your friendship. _Doll, princess, sweetheart, honey…_ Not having heard those from this man before, in his sweet yet hard voice before. It did things to you, made your heart pound faster, your core heat up.

It was also then that you noticed one thing other than his strong and broad thighs beneath you. You leaned into him, him feeling your breasts pressed to the side of his chest, him taking in your sweet scent, it woke his nervous system. Moreover, in rocking you, Bucky had also rocked the nerves down there, the stimulus encouraging an inflow of blood, making not only his penis _hard_ but also harder to hide it from you.

He prayed to heaven’s that you didn’t notice. You did, but you tried to make no indication that you did. However, he understood from the way you stiffened atop him that you did notice it. He was convinced that you’d hate him now.

Feeling immensely embarrassed, he unceremoniously stood up and dropped you on the couch.

“Uh, I’ll just, uh, I’ll just set up the fireplace in the bedroom. It’s been a long day.” He wiped his sweaty palms on his bottoms and bolted out of the living room.

You were low-key in shock. You desperately hoped you made him hard, but your rational side told you it was just because of the physical contact. He’d be in the same situation even if it were somebody else. Your presence didn’t really matter to him. The thought made you physically hurt.

As Bucky set up the fireplace in the bedroom, it then struck to his mind. There was only one bedroom, which meant **there was only one bed.** He glanced at the queen sized bed behind him and then at his raging boner. Somewhere in the back of his head, he could hear Sam roaring with laughter at his predicament. 

He knew it was going to be a long, _long_ night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Light angst, character study, cuddling, mutual pinning.
> 
> Chapter/Trigger warning: Nightmares, thoughts of questioning self-worth, and low self-esteem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In a small part, I’ve decided to showcase Bucky’s thought process after Steve had left him for Peggy. Hope you like this part.

Bucky had proposed for you to sleep on the bed while he would sleep on the couch. You had countered by saying, “Don’t be ridiculous. We’re adults and the bed is big enough.”

When you climbed on the bed, both of you took the two opposite sides of the bed and slept nearly at the edges. Though you faced the fireplace, you were too cold to relax. “You’re so warm Bucky. Cuddle me please.” you had said in your shivering voice.

That is how Bucky now had his flesh arm wrapped around your middle, metal arm behind your head. He had held you loosely, but you scooted back into him, into the warmth he provided. You lay in the fetal position facing the fireplace, trying to keep all your body heat to yourself. He covered the dorsal side of your body like a second layer, legs bent in the crook of you knees. The two single blankets lay one atop the other on your pressed forms.

The proximity made you relaxed and restless at the same time. The fire kept the room warm, while Bucky kept you. You liked the weight of his arm on yourself. Bucky made you feel safe and protected too. But you were hyper aware of every stimuli around you. Of Every breath you took, every breath he took. The way your chest moved against his, slowly synchronising your breathing. The soft exhaling sound you made, a sigh of content among them.

Bucky, on the other hand, had hardly ever felt as relaxed as then. With you in his arms, your scent surrounding him, your chest moving calmly against his, he was more than content. His face lay behind yours, just above your shoulder. He wanted nothing more than to reach forward and kiss your clothed shoulder, to bury his head in your neck, but he restrained himself with great effort.

Oh, and the boner, you ask? Yeah, well, let’s just say he was pressed to you at everywhere but the groin. He made a note to project out his hips backwards as much as he could, yet he couldn’t hide it no matter how much he tried to. It wasn’t poking or touching you, but you could still feel it’s presence. You secretly smiled mischievously at the fact and chose to not let him undergo the embarrassment of knowing. Damn he must be big, you thought, but shook it away when your thoughts started leading elsewhere.

The chilly winter winds raged in the dark outside the little cabin you took shelter in, its velocity rattling the large windows behind your back. You didn’t mind it much at the moment as you lay with the hot - both literally and metaphorically, furnace of a man with you.

You felt small in his big frame. His hard chest pressed to your back provided you with an odd sense of comfort and safety, which you cherished highly. You didn’t know whether to damn the weather outside or thank it.

You lay there embraced by Bucky as sleep engulfed you both. Sometime later, you felt the hand around your torso tighten. You took it as an indication and happily nuzzled back into his slightly warm form.

A few moments later you thought you had heard something, but your sleep trapped body paid no heed. The arm around you fastened further. To relieve the pressure around your middle you tried to scoot backward into him more, but your bodies were already pressed to the point where they may as well have been one.

Even when unconscious, your heart fluttered due to the closeness. The arm kept tightening around you even more, the pain arousing you from your sleep. You noticed that his legs were not by your side but kicked at the blankets instead. Bucky practically crushed you between his body and right arm.

With a few grunts of discomfort, your hands struggled to claw his hold off of you, but his arm wouldn’t budge. It felt too heavy to move in your sleep ridden state. You heard him growl followed by a loud roar, “No!” You jolted awake by the pained voice. He tightened his hold further, his fingers digging into your side, body curling into you. You understood he was having a nightmare.

You tapped his forearm as best as you could, “Bucky,” He only grunted harshly in response.

You raised your voice, tapping his forearm with a little more force, “Bucky, wake up!” The blankets were completely off of you by his kicking but he didn’t stop as you repeatedly asked him to arouse.

You yelled, “Bucky!” He woke, startled and panicked. Nothing made sense to him as his eyes opened, not even you. He didn’t recognise his surroundings or you at first, feeling threatened by your presence in his personal space.

He acted purely on reflex as he sat up and his flesh arm turned you on your back with such force that he knocked the wind out of you. His right arm came to rest on your throat, lightly squeezing it as his metal arm captured your wrist. You hissed as the frigid metal arm touched you. Half his body moved on top of yours, restricting your movement.

You weren’t surprised. Often he’d wake up from his nightmares not knowing whether he was still a captured killing slave or a free man. He had always woken up unaware of his surroundings, getting into fight mode immediately. He’d be sacred, which would prompt him to put up an aggressive front. He’d often punched Sam and kicked Steve before realising the situation before him. He would be always be distraught everytime after.

You saw a sheen of sweat on his forehead and his eyes, pained but putting up an intimidating front. You had seen it many times before, fallen victim to his scared blinded rage just as many times when you had to wake him up from his unfortunate nightmares. But scarcely was he as aggressive as this time as he pinned you beneath him and mildly choked you.

Your heart fluttered for a different reason now altogether. You could hear your heart beat loudly in your ears, adrenaline coursing through your own body. Sure, his sudden actions scared you to a degree, but you trusted him. Neither had he ever seriously harmed you, nor was he going to. However, it didn’t stop your eyes from conveying to him just how much frightened he had made you at the moment.

He recognised you, scared yet strong beneath him. Realised that he had hit reality. Realised that all he saw and did was in his dream only. His palm immediately moved from your neck to cheek, “Y/N?” His voice had turned as soft as his eyes.

Your free hand came up to his shoulder, keeping him grounded to reality, “It’s okay, Bucky. You’re safe. You’re here with me now.”

Your last line hit him like a truck. The dream, your position, your terrified face from earlier, it made his eyes go wide in horror. He gasped as he hurriedly released his grip on your hand as he scrambled off of you. He moved to sit on his side of the bed, feet planted on the cold floor beneath. His head rested in his hands, elbows perched up on his knees. Guilt flooded him soon after. He kept muttering I’m sorry in tandem repeats under his breath.

You moved forward to keep a hand on his shoulder, to reassure him but he recoiled at the touch, abruptly stood up and turned to you, “You shouldn’t be near me, Y/N. Nobody should be.” His chest rose and fell with quick short breaths, eyes frightened like never before.

You walked on your knees on the bed toward him, but he took a few steps back, “No, Bucky. Don’t say that.”

He shook his head, eyes glassy, “I’ll only ever hurt the people around me.”

“You and I both know that’s not the truth. You’ve never hurt me or anyone close to you.” He took one look at your trusting face and moved his eyes to the ceiling, hands covering his face. Your friendliness made him hate himself for all he did in his dream as his mind replayed it over and over again to torture him.

You got down from the bed and walked to him, unwavered by the cold floor. You gently pried his hands away from his face, “Don’t shut me out, Bucky. Tell me what was it.”

He gulped before he opened his mouth, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell you. He couldn’t face you, so he jerked his head to the side, still not being able to find the courage. “Bucky,” you whispered.

He hung his head, “They made me shoot you.” His voice was nothing above a frail whisper. He had frequently had nightmares before. Most of them were of HYDRA torturing him with no end, blending his mind over and over again until he couldn’t remember even a figment of his original self. He’d be dazed with a scared and lost look in his eyes after waking up. Then came the ones with shooting, strangling, torturing his acquaintances, known and loved ones under the orders of HYDRA. Just like Howard.

None of them were ever easy to cope up with, but those like the latter were worse. He couldn’t face his victims in reality, regretting not breaking free from HYDRA’s clutches in his dreams. He couldn’t cope up with the terrified faces which he saw in his dreams welcoming him in this new age with open arms in reality.

He couldn’t look at you either, afraid that you’d be afraid of him, the Winter Soldier, HYDRA’s puppet. Back at the compound, he knew that if things were to ever go south, there were possibilities to keep him restrained, just like for Bruce, Wanda, Peter and Carol. They were not entirely human, possessing inhuman powers. It’d be a catastrophe even if one of them went rogue by any means. Not that they weren’t trustworthy, the restraints were there only as a precaution. He understood.

He also understood that these restraints were not out here in the middle of nowhere to protect you from him if things ever did go south. The impact of those ten words were removed from his brain, but the trauma of those seventy years weren’t. He knew you were very much strong and capable enough on your own, but not in front of a super soldier. If just somehow he’d be triggered to become the merciless assassin again, neither would you be safe from him nor would the surrounding or the weather be in your favour.

Although you unveiled his face from his hands, he kept his eyes trained on the ceiling, scared of what he’d find behind yours. He expected you to second guess your decisions so far. To be scared of him and leave him alone. To run away for your own safety. To loathe him for doing what he did in his dreams. To cringe away from him in disgust for not being able to take the reins even in his own dreams. He shuddered at the thought.

What he did not expect was for you to tenderly take his arms and place them on your waist, where his fingers had been digging into your skin a few minutes ago through the layers of wool. He did not expect you to softly cup his face and bend it toward you.

“See, Bucky, you are not hurting me. You’re your own master. Away from those dipshits. You control yourself. You’d never injure someone unless you wanted to. I trust you, Bucky. I trust my sweet Buckaroo.”

When he looked down at you, Bucky was at a major conflict with himself. He couldn’t look at your face and not relive the horrors he did in his dream. He couldn’t look at himself touching you with the same hands which had killed you. He couldn’t help but be scared you’d pull away from him any moment.

“How can you harm me when you saved me today, Bucky?”

Snaking his arms up your back, Bucky let out a choked sob as he buried his face in your neck and hugged you close, “I’d never, doll. I’d never.” He didn’t know why, but he felt he needed to assure you of the fact though you said you trust him.

You put your arms around his neck, gently stroking his head, “I know, honey.”

Soon after comforting him, you’d dragged him back to bed. He was reluctant to be near you when the both of you would be unconscious, fearing a repeat of the previous episode, but he agreed with your persistence.

You didn’t turn your back to him this time round. As you lay on your back, his head rested on top of your chest, flesh hand once again splayed across your middle and the metal one above his head beside you. One of your arms circled his shoulders while the other continued to stroke his head.

He cried a bit and you let him, soothing him when he began to calm down. His head lay tucked under your chin, ears listening to the melodic thrum of your heartbeat. Your hand brushing his hair relaxed him. Yet he couldn’t sleep. Neither could you.

For a long time you just lay there in each other’s arms, a distant stare in both your eyes. One thinking too much, one trying not to think at all.

Eventually, the monotony of keeping your body nearly still put you to sleep. Bucky understood it as your heartbeat evened.

His arm tightened around your middle again, but consciously and willingly this time. He didn’t want to let you go, a friend like you, a companion like you. Not only because he wanted to be more than a friend to you but also because he was grateful for your presence in his life.

No matter what you said, you had saved him - Steve, you and Sam, from HYDRA and from the world, fighting with over a hundred nations for just one man whom you didn’t even know personally. You and Sam had saved him again after Steve left, after he was left alone, all the while being hurt yourselves.

Did he hate Steve? God no. If not for Steve Bucky would still be in HYDRA’s arms doing horrendous crimes. He couldn’t ever repay Steve for what he did for him. He understood why Steve did what he did while returning the stones. Who could ever understand that punk better than Bucky himself? However, he did wish that if Steve had undergone all this trouble just to get him back, he could have stayed with him a little longer before starting a new life. Call him selfish, but Bucky desperately wanted to make up for the lost time with his best friend, his only anchor in the new world.

Instead he got you and Sam. You both had helped him recover. Helped him bring himself out of his shell. Helped him readjust in his new and very different life. Helped him rise from dust and be a better version of himself. He was ever grateful for that.

In Sam he saw a new partner, confidante and friend. In you, all those and something more.

He couldn’t help but feel strings tugging at his heart everytime he looked at you. From your beautiful face to your strong personality and capable self, he adored everything about you.

He had this nagging voice at the back of his brain telling him how clingy he was being when you weren’t entitled to any of it. He couldn’t afford to lose a friend like either you or Sam. So he reluctantly lifted your arm from his shoulder and shifted to lay his head on the pillow beside yours, being still near you but not touching. The last thing he wanted to do was make either of you think he was a burden and push you away.

Sometimes Bucky wondered if Steve left him since he thought Bucky was beyond repair and he had given too much for him, though he’d always reassure himself that it was because Steve was tired of the world and not tired of Bucky; that his love for Peggy and his want for a domestic life outweighed his love for Bucky by far.

Bucky concentrated at your profile. With the glow of yellow from the fire on your already glowing face, you looked majestic and other worldly to him. In the darkness around him, you were his light. He only wished he would mean to you half as much you meant to him.

He saw you toss your neck and slide your hands on the bed to get that one comfortable position in your sleep. You turned towards him with arms folded in front of yourself and palms rolled into fists by your head.

Bucky’s heart pumped hard with joy when you scooted closer to him and he sensed your fists lightly grip his sweater beneath the blankets. You unconsciously rubbed the tip of your cold nose on his sweater, buried your head in his chest and tangled your legs with his. He heard a sigh once you were comfortable.

He smiled as he realised you sought for his presence even when unconscious, be it only for the much needed warmth his body provided. He wished it was not only for the warmth that you scooted closer to him but also because of him, no matter how much the rational side of his brain reasoned him with. Yet he was content for then with the fact the you still wanted to be near him and not abandon him. Sleep soon overtook him with the happy knowledge that he could help you too somehow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Lovesick Bucky, cuddling, mutual pinning.
> 
> Chapter warning: A bit paranoid reader.

The hours of night soon gave way for morning to creep in. Beam by beam light poured in through the large sized windows, illuminating the room in a silver glow.

In a relaxed and peaceful moment, Bucky woke up to the sight of a goddess wrapped up in his arms. Your face was pressed against his chest, one hand gripping his sweater tightly in your fist and the other thrown loosely around his waist; legs intertwined with his in comfort.

With one arm around your back, Bucky could feel your chest rise and fall with every breath; feel every exhale of yours through the thin layers he had on.

Golden rays from the fireplace and the pale brightness from the windows in the absence of direct sunlight cast a beautiful glow on your face, a mixture of different shades dancing about. 

He could feel his heart swell with adoration just looking at you. Your lips, partly open, appeared more plump since a side of your face was cutely pressed against his body. With a slight pout and closed eyes, your face conveyed a look of pure innocence which Bucky knew he couldn’t get out of his head anytime soon.

Your face was angled so that your lovely lips peered at him, seemingly begging to be sucked and licked and kissed and bitten with pure red passion. As if he hadn’t wanted to do exactly that.

Closing his eyes, he gave himself a moment to calm down his racing heart. He loved the feel of you engulfed in his arms, filling a void he’d become familiar with since too long. Hard yet soft, pressed against him in the sweetest of manners due to a girdle of trust and confidence which surrounded your friendship, keeping it tight.

Silencing his wants, he leaned down and kissed the top of your head hard and lovingly, as if convincing you that he would not act on his wanton desires and loose a friend he cherished immensely in greed for more.

You slowly stirred against him. He stilled, worried that he woke you up, but after giving out a breathy exhale you resumed your position, burying your face even further and an arm tightening around his waist. Your otherwise calm posture would have fooled him, but the secretive smile tugging at your lips gave you away. Bucky thought that his kiss wouldn’t have been noticed, but the small peck to his chest, right above his heart by your lips proved him wrong.

Gracing your face with a smile which took his breath away every damn time, you said, “I could get used to this.”

You had been in that state rocking between the dream world and the real word for quite some time. Loving every cursory second of it, you didn’t want to wake up and get out of the cocoon of Bucky and the blankets. While you were savouring the moment, you felt softness touch your head, realising what Bucky had done. Your heart thumped hard. You couldn’t have stopped from reciprocating the affection even if you wanted.

Bucky felt his heart swell once again, swearing it would fly out of his rib cage at any moment.

“Yeah?” Bucky asked tentatively. A smile formed at the corner of his lips.

“Mhmm,” You started, cuddling closer to him, fastening your hold on him, “You’re so warm.”

“You’re making me cold.” You whipped your head at him, worrying you’d overstepped the borders. But one look at the mischievous look in his eyes and a sly smirk on his luscious lips told you otherwise.

“Hey,” You lightly hit his arm, making him rumble with laughter.

You looked at his beautiful face, eyes crinkled and teeth bared in mirthful laughter. It was good to know that he felt light enough to crack jokes. _God_ , you thought, _if the cold wouldn’t kill_ _me_ _, his smile definitely would._

“No, but seriously,” you propped yourself up on one elbow, the other still over his waist, “Are you cold because of me?” You sounded as serious as you looked.

His general body temperature was higher than yours. After giving it a thought, it only made sense to you. You’d made him cold if he’d made you warm.

He scrunched his nose, baffled as to why you would think that, “What? No! Don’t be silly.”

“Okay then,” You said, snuggling back with him, “Don’t come complaining to me later.”

 _Why would I?_ He thought. He’d promised himself that he’d run to the ends of the world if it meant keeping you warm and comfortable. With a dreamy smile on his lips, he said, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

You closed your eyes, relaxing further into him, “Good, cause now you’re officially my cuddle pillow.”

He barked out another laugh, “Cuddle pillow, huh?” He hugged you closer, “Well, cuddle pillow at your service, ma'am.”

You both chuckled. He looked down at you, that post laugh smile still gracing your face. Smiling or not, he knew he could always look at you and never get enough of it, because he could never fucking get enough of you. He’d always admire those beautiful pair of eyes and those lips he couldn’t stop daydreaming about-

“Hey, Bucky,” You start , that smile having fallen off your face, “I’ve been thinking about that white thing…”

_Huh?_

It took Bucky a moment to understand that you had been talking about the split halves of the white octagonal box you two had found the previous day. So occupied with thoughts of you pressed against him, Bucky had forgotten that morning what had caused all of this in the first place. He felt dumb.

Clearing his throat he said, “What about it”? Pretending as if he’d been thinking about it too, because he couldn’t let one of the few people whose opinions he did care about think he was dumb - _especially_ not you.

“When it blew up, it somehow made all electronics in its range dysfunctional.”

“Yeah.”

“The range can’t be infinite though.” You paused, waiting for his confirmation; for an indication that you made sense.

“I guess.”

“We already walked for like what…10 to 15 miles?”

“Kinda, yes.”

You sat up, explaining animatedly with your hands, “So if we do venture out some more, maybe we can surpass the range. If we do, we could at least communicate through our comms.”

Bucky sat up too, a puzzled expression in his face, “Yeah, we can try that.”

“Yeah, we can!”

One look at your excited expression and he placed a hand on your shoulder. Shaking his head, Bucky said, “No, no, no, no. Not 'we’. It’s gonna be just me.”

“What?”

“You shouldn’t go out there.”

“Excuse me?!”

Bucky huffed, “Doll, we don’t know what’s the radius of the range. For all we know, it could be another 20 miles. You can’t walk 20 miles in this weather. But I can.”

You furrowed in your eyebrows. Truth be told, you knew without proper gear - which you didn’t have at the moment - you wouldn’t be able to survive in the bitter cold outside, let alone trek an unknown span. Bucky, on the other hand, had the serum which made him much more resistant to the cold - frankly anything else - than you. _Damn it._ You didn’t want to admit defeat, but you had to.

Looking everywhere but at him, you tried to come up with a reason reasonable enough so that you could accompany him too. Finding none, you shrugged, “I mean - okay.” Something clicked inside you all of a sudden and you grabbed his forearm, “But if you’re going on your own, what if something happens to you? I wouldn’t know it. I wouldn’t be able to help you.”

Unveiled worry reflected in your eyes. You chewed on your bottom lip. Bucky knew you cared about him, but looking at you being anxious just for him did things to his heart.

Looking deep into your eyes, he gave a shy smile, “No, doll, I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”

You knew Bucky facing any obstacles were highly unlikely. He’d was an ex-assassin - an expert one at that. He had amazing knife skills and was one of the greatest snipers the world had known. But he was also your friend, one you had feelings a little too deep for.

You shuffled closer to him and laid your head on his shoulder, saying in a voice softer than his heart had become, “I care about you, Bucky. I’ll always worry about you.”

His breath hitched. Strings tugged at his heart. Bucky didn’t know why he was so surprised. He guessed it was because he wasn’t used to people outwardly showing concern for him. He didn’t want to dwell on it though. Despite having known it already, it felt good hearing you voice it out loud.

He laid his head on top of your and started petting your hair. Hiding his smile, he said, “It’s gonna be fine, doll. I’m gonna be fine.”

As Bucky jogged through layers upon layers of snow, he could only see white sheets for as far as his vision allowed. The dark green, lushy, conical tress were the only living things by definition in sight - that too covered under silver thaw.

He could hear the crunch of ice crystals under his boots and the chilly hurried winds rush by his ear, biting mercilessly at his exposed cheeks and nose.

The air was crisp as he breathed; so sharp and freezing he felt his lungs were being punctured. Though he didn’t have any trouble breathing, he didn’t like the feeling one bit. He swore he could taste the difference in the air between there and New York.

The thickness of clouds prevented sunrays from falling on skin - or anywhere in sight. His surroundings were as gloomy as the sky above. The only thing which kept his heart light was the still lingering feel of your lips on his skin.

_As Bucky prepared to leave, you couldn’t help but fret over him. Double checking if he had his weapons on hand, though he doubted he need them, you said one could never be too cautious. You made sure he had his comm on and insisted he put on more layers than just one heavy jacket over a sweatshirt. He assured you that all the jogging that he’d do would make him warm enough to not need anymore layering._

_In your anxiousness you expressed your concern over the littlest of details. In his opinion, they were unnecessary. He only needed to be careful about not losing his path and not push past his limit. He had to appreciate your presence of mind though, but that did not mean he could let you work yourself into a panic attack._

_In your defence, you were_ worried _!_

_How Bucky wished he could take a hold of you in a sudden moment and kiss you senseless to stop your rambling like he had seen in all those movies. He could almost picture it happening in front of him. Nevermind the fact that he knew while in the movies the couple would somehow confess their love for each other, in the reality version you would push him away and things would be awkward and your friendship would be strained. And he couldn’t let that happen._

_Only if he’d known how wrong he was._

_Instead, Bucky chose to grab your shoulders in a sudden moment to stop your rambling, letting you calm down against him, “Doll, you worry too much.”_

_You huffed, “Bucky…”_

_“I know, Y/N, but trust me, I am going to be safe. Everything’s going to be alright.” He assured you yet again._

_When he was about to leave through the main door, you shouted, “Bucky!”_

_As soon as he turned around, he saw you running to him and hugging him tight, the sheer force of your body colliding into his throwing him off his feet for a second. He soon got a grip on himself and hugged you back._

_You were aware you might have been over-reacting. You might have been paranoid too. But you the thought of Bucky out in the open all by himself, unsafe while you were not didn’t sit well with you. He was a grown man and capable enough on his own, yet feelings or not, he was a very close friend._

_For a moment Bucky thought you were on a mission to bruise his ribs when you said, “Just take care of yourself, Bucky.”_ _and put a soft lingering kiss to his cheeks_ _._

Bucky could still feel softness of your lips on his skin. He didn’t want to be out here in the cold when he could have been snuggling with you. But he had to.

He kept running for miles and miles and his body didn’t even feel relatively tired. A little out of breath, yes, but not tired. He willed himself to not loose his patience and keep going on further when he heard some static in his ear. He stopped abruptly.

Pressing the communication device to his ear, he said, “Hello?” He only heard the constant buzz of static and nothing more.

Going forward a few steps, he repeated himself. A voice broke through the static, “Agent Y/N? Sergeant Barnes?” It seemed to be FRIDAY’s.

Bucky couldn’t believe it. Your idea had worked and he had surpassed the range!

Bucky called out with a relieved face, “Sergeant Barnes reporting. Does anybody copy?”

“Bucky!” A shriek tore out through his earpiece, disturbing his sensitive eardrums. Though extremely high pitched, he knew whose it was.

“Sam?” Bucky questioned.

“Man, what the fuck has been going on with you? You guys were supposed to report in eighteen hours earlier! I had been worried sick about you two!” Sam’s clearly worried voice spoke.

“Sam, we’re fine. Nobody hurt but there’s a little problem.” Bucky licked his bottom lip, contemplating how he’d tell him your 'little’ situation.

“What problem?” Sam prompted.

Well, considering the fact that they had had fought an army of aliens, Bucky thought that this shouldn’t be much surprising. Bucky told the Captain about the white octagonal box, what all had happened the previous day and the idea you put forward that morning.

Bucky heard no response. Worried he’d lost connection again, he asked, “Sam, you there?”

Sam was nothing if not flabbergasted. He didn’t know how to respond to the situation. Hardly had he felt relieve over his friends beings safe when this came up. According to Bucky’s calculations, that pesky little things had rendered any electronic useless within forty miles of its radius.

How the fuck was he going to get his friends out of there when he couldn’t even get the quinjet near to them!

“FRIDAY,” Sam started, unsure what commands to give, “Do you know what he’s been talking about?”

“Sergeant Barnes seems to be talking about a transmooker.” The AI replied in her nonchalant voice.

“A what?” Both Bucky and Sam shot up.

“A transmooker. It can disable networking systems and any electronic component within the range of its blast by slightly altering the magnetic field.” FRIDAY informed.

“But I don’t feel anything on my arm.” Bucky said, now more confused than ever.

“It is not strong enough to restrict or guide your movement, Sergeant Barnes, but strong enough to hamper the electricity flow in the devices you have.”

“Can you do something about it, FRIDAY? Like hack it or something?” Sam asked, overwhelmed beyond belief.

“I cannot override it, Captain. To do that, I’d have to track it first. It seems to have created a GPS blackhole. Though according to my calculations, with an error percentage of twenty percent, the effects must begin wearing down in a week or so. As soon as that happens, I can undo it’s effects.”

“A week?” Bucky asked, followed by a confirmation by the AI.

“Think you can hold out for a week?” Sam asked.

“We got the supplies, at least. So yeah.” Bucky nodded, looking out into the distance. Details were worked upon, goodbyes were said.

 _A week_ , Bucky thought. He hadn’t even spent a day with you without turning into a lovesick puppy, he wondered what the week ahead would do to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Fluff.
> 
> Chapter/Trigger warning: Self-deprecating thoughts. No smut but mentions of getting stimulated. Language.

Climbing the steps of the cabin, the comms felt heavy in Bucky’s hand. _A week_ , his mind kept repeating. Bucky wondered how you’d react to the news he’d brought along.

At first, he’d liked the idea of being with you and only you for one entire week very much. It sounded very appealing to him. Sure, he’d never try anything with you to jeopardize his friendship, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy spending some alone time with you. There were no worries for unscheduled last minute missions or the time ticking for the planned ones. He’d be the only one getting your undivided attention. He felt giddy and low-key wanted to squeal with excitement. It’d be an entire week of being with you; being near you.

And that thought scared him when his brain drifted back to the incident of the previous night. You’d be stuck with him in close quarters; and yes, you’d be in danger of him hurting you. Though he was happy, he didn’t know if you would be. Despite what you said, he knew he’d given you a scare last night. He wondered if you’d too be happy about it or if you’d dread it. Somewhere in his heart he knew it’d be the former, but his anxiety feeded at him like a starved at a buffet.

Stalling his negative thoughts, he willed his mind to not jump to conclusions as he entered the cabin. He hoped to find you in front of either of the fireplaces soaking the heat. When he didn’t see you in any of the rooms, he checked the bathroom. You weren’t there either. His anxiety returned full force.

Assuming the worst, he called your name as he checked through the windows. He saw you then, at some distance on the backside of the cabin, where he couldn’t have seen you while entering. With an ax in hand, you appeared to be chopping woods. He sighed in relief, cursing for having worked himself over for nothing.

Leaving the house again, he approached you. From his angle, he had a perfect view of your ass in the air everytime you bent down to pick up another piece of log. If it hadn’t already from the jogging, he was sure his mouth had become dry just looking at you. He worked had to keep the wild thoughts of your round butt at bay. It was proving to be difficult.

So invested in the job at hand, you hadn’t heard his muffled voice call out your name earlier. Having it instilled in his nature, he walked towards you with the lightness of a feather, his boots not making much sound. You hadn’t heard him coming until he was just a few steps behind. Your training overtook the control as you clutched the ax in one hand and retrieved the gun from your thigh holster in the other, immediately turning around and taking a defensive stance.

Bucky stopped dead in his tracks at the abruptness, “Come on, Y/N, it’s just me.” He said. Relief washed over you as you dropped your weapons. It was just Bucky. And he was back.

“Hey,” You stepped towards him, eyes washing him over with concern, “You alright?”

Bucky smiled, “Everything’s good.”

“What happened? Were you able to contact them?” You asked Bucky with hope dripping out of your voice. He chewed his bottom lip, his thoughts taking the best of him. Deciding it would be no good to stall the eventual, he told you all about his conversation with Sam.

“So the effect would wear off? That’s great! A week’s no big deal.” You shrugged, trying really hard not to let your excitement surface, a beautiful smile gracing your gorgeous features. Bucky grinned, glad you weren’t too upset.

Inwardly, you were dancing with joy. A week with Bucky! Just the two of you and seven nights in that bed. Oh, may lord forgive the perverted images that were entering your head at the prospect.

“It’s good that you started on them.” Bucky said, looking at the impressive pile of firewood you had already gathered.

“Yeah. We already exhausted what we had. Though without any heating system, we’ll need much more than this.” You said, picking up your ax.

Bucky nodded, “Do we have another ax?”

“Yeah, I think I saw a bunch of them in there.” You nodded towards the cabin.

Bucky soon brought the tool and went to work. The thuds of metal striking wood could be heard loud and clear in the isolated environment, leaving an unpleasant pang in your eardrums. You breathed hard as you brought down the blade against the hard wood, white puffs coming out of your mouth with each exhale. Your motions continued, eager to be over with the job.

After a long time of straining your muscles, you took a break and chanced a glance at Bucky. Splintering the logs in swift and clean strikes with his muscular arms, he looked like a natural. The plates in his metal arm shifted with every stretch he did. Brows furrowed on the hard planes of his face, you imagined how he’d look like a lumberjack. The mental image made your mouth water.

Without giving much thought, you called out, “Hey, Bucky, I bet you could split them with your bare hands.”

He looked at you, eyebrows raised, “Really? You think so?” He sounded very unsure.

“Yeah,” You nodded, “Go on, try once.” You sat on wooden stump you were using.

He picked up one of the uncut logs, curious to try but unsure how to hold it. After he examined it for a moment, he kept one end of it on his chest and dug his fingers on the other end. To his surprise, when his metal fingers dug in creating a crack he didn’t have much problem in splitting the log in half with a loud grunt.

Though he liked the moment of testosterone flowing through him, making him feel masculine; like a very manly man, he wasn’t sure if he liked that in front of you. He had broken so many things with his hands. After last night, he didn’t want you to witness any act of aggression which involved his arm, specially if you were to be trapped with him for the next few days. Hearing a loud gasp he looked at you.

If your heart wasn’t beating fast from all the chopping you did, it was sure as hell racing now. If that wasn’t one of the hottest, most nerve wrecking, panty dropping things you hadn’t witnessed. His face contorting from all the pressure he put; the nerves getting strained in his neck; the brute force he used; the loud gravely grunt which left his lips, the rise and drop of his large and beefy chest as he breathed. It all made you wet, unforgivably so. You couldn’t help the gasp escaping your mouth.

Bucky looked at your wide eyed expression. Your mouth was hung open. You quickly recovered, not wanting to make a fool yourself, “That was so cool!” You gushed, trying to make him believe you were not just wishing he’d strip you down and have his way with you, “I wish I could do that!” You truly did.

Bucky was confused with your reaction, not in the least bit understanding what about it was appealing to you. He tentatively said, “You’re not…It doesn’t…scare you?” He looked towards his metal arm, dropping the wood and tightening his fist.

Your heart drummed still, but to the tunes of heartbreak more than anything else. Until yesterday, he was making great progress with coming in terms to and loving and appreciating all of him. He knew that. You knew that. But suddenly one set back happened and it sent all the process he’d made went tumbling down the drain.

You couldn’t let that happen; you wouldn’t let that happen.

You made your way to him and took his metal arms in your hands. Bucky saw with a tensed look as you opened up his fist. It felt heavy in your hands and you loved the weight of it. Slowly, you brought his palm towards yourself and kissed each of his fingertips gingerly, softly; taking your time with each tip. Bucky’s face became expressionless, but his eyes betrayed everything.

Giving one last peck to the inside of his palm, you kept it on your cheek and cupped it with your own, “Tell me Bucky,” You rubbed the outside of his palm in soothing circles, “What am I supposed to be afraid of?”

You looked into his eyes with nothing but softness; daring to him to continue believing what he did.

A lump formed in Bucky’s throat. He couldn’t speak those words with you looking at him like that, but he did, “I can hurt you, Y/N.” The pain abounding in his eyes exhibited itself on his face too.

“But will you?” You asked, eyes unwavering from his.

“Y/N, you know I’d never.” He looked down, unable to hold the intensity of your gaze at him, “But what if I lose control?”

“Bucky,” You moved closer, bringing one hand to him and making him look at you, “Honey, you don’t give yourself enough credit. Last night you didn’t lose control-”

“Then what’s this?” He hissed, grabbing your right arm and shoving up the sleeves. The bruises on your wrist unambiguously in the shape of his metal fingers gaped at you, “You were just trying to help me, and I did that to you.”

You broke away from him, lifting your layers a little to show the already fading bruises on your abdomen, “Look at these. These are bruises as well, and I got them while fighting those goons. I wouldn’t have been here; wouldn’t have been an Avenger if I wouldn’t be able to handle a few mere bruises. I am not enhanced, Bucky, but I am not fragile either!”

Bucky looked remorseful. You walked to him, taking his hand back in yours, “Tell me Bucky…when you were approaching me and I didn’t hear you, I raised my weapons at you. I thought you were an enemy. Are you mad at me for that?”

Bucky shook his head vigorously. What sort of a question was that? Of course he wouldn’t be mad at you for something like that. But before he could verbally answer, you continued, “What if I hadn’t waited to look who it was and straight up attacked you? I had an ax and a gun, Bucky, and they are no child’s play.”

Bucky cupped your cheeks, “But you didn’t, doll.” He shook his head again, “You were protecting yourself. You didn’t let the fear overtake your actions.” When you looked at him calm countenance and raised your eyebrows, Bucky mulled hard over his words, taking in what he’d just said.

“Exactly! Sweety, we are trained to protect ourselves. What you did last night was in self preservation. You don’t need to be sorry for that.” You encompassed his fingers in yours as you said.

“Bucky, I am so proud of the man you are today. Sam is so proud. You’ve risen above the man they made you to be. It wasn’t you who chose to do those things, but it’s you deciding what you want to do now.”

“Doll…” Bucky started, but you interrupted.

“No, you listen to me.” You dragged his metal arm away from your face and held it up, closing your fists around it, “This is beautiful, Bucky. Just like you.” You held his arm close to you, “You help who you want to, you hurt who you want to. Just like you trusted me that I wouldn’t shoot you or swing at you, I know for a damn fact that hell would break lose before you’d seriously injure me. Stop underestimating me or doubting my words.”

Bucky’s eyes glazed over. His feelings couldn’t transform into words for what he had to say. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve to friend a like you by his side, “You’re right. I’m sorry, I underestimated you, Y/N. I- I let my insecurities get the better of me.” He tugged you, hugging you close to him, his head resting on yours, “Thank you so, so much, Y/N.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Bucky. I know you’d do the same for me.” You said, snuggling your head into his chest.

“I want to.” He simply replied.

Since Wakanda, Bucky had started being at peace with the fact that what he was made to do for all those years ago was none of his fault. The torture he was made to do on the mostly innocent for 70 years was not something he could forget easily though. Years later, he was still in the process today of not blaming himself. He always reminded himself that he was only a vessel and not the evil intention whenever his mind overran.

But it was a process, a course; bound to get rocky and disturbed by hurdles at one point or the other. And even if nothing more, you were his friend. One he had chose to confided in and trusted enough to show the most vulnerable parts of himself.

If there were going to be insecurities, you dared them to come his way. You’d help him jump all the hurdles he’d let you, and if he wouldn’t, you’d find a way to assist him anyway. Always. Because he was your friend and you were his.

Hours later, you sat on the couch with your shoulders and back sore and strained. You’d acquired enough firewood to use leisurely in the duration of your stay, and even then the owners of the cabin would be left with a mighty amount. You were satisfied with your hardwork, but your muscles screamed and wailed and pitched insults at you.

You’d spent nearly the entire day chopping and storing the wood with Bucky. Throughout dinner, you kept tilting your head right and left in an attempt to stretch the hardened muscles of your neck and shoulders. You rolled your shoulder joints at several intervals, but all was in vain.

Your back was a different story altogether. They treated you with unrelenting vengeance. You sat straight, it hurt. You slouched, it still hurt. You tried to shift in different positions on the couch without disturbing Bucky, but no matter what you did you never found any pose comfortable enough.

You knew you should’ve stretched.

“Sore muscles?” Bucky asked, glancing at you.

“It’s worse than weight lifting, Bucky.” You whined. He laughed.

“Didn’t stretch?” You deeply regretted not doing just that. At least the pain wouldn’t have been such a bitch.

“Okay,” You drawled, “Mistakes happen. I didn’t think it’d be that straining. Move on!”

“I can give you a massage if you want.” He offered.

 _Yes please_ , your brain screamed. You knew you wouldn’t have to strip in this freezing climate. He’d massage you with your clothes still on. Yet the thoughts of his hands running over your covered body and tending to your muscles was enough to bring out the squealing schoolgirl inside you. You couldn’t have Bucky see that side of you though. In order to seem composed, you cleared your throat, “You know how to give massages?” You asked, intrigued.

“I am not a masseuse, so don’t expect anything grand. But I am sure I can relieve some tension in your muscles.” He shrugged. You knew what he was talking about, but your mind didn’t hesitate in developing an entirely new kind of tension in a different group of your muscles. Only if he could relieve those as well.

“Yeah, well, that’d be great!” You hoped you didn’t squeak. You stood from the couch, ready to move to the bed.

Bucky looked at you with confusion as you moved, “Where you going?”

“The bed.” You answered, turning to him. Looking at his clueless expression, your face burned. Oh, had he not meant it to be on the bed? Did he want to do it on the couch? Of course he did. You cursed yourself as you tried not to stutter, “I- I mean, I thought it’d be easier there?” You didn’t know if it was a statement or a question.

“Oh- um, yes, that’d be easier.” Bucky said, feeling extremely dumb. _What kind of a doofus gives massages on a couch?_ _The_ _Bucky_ _kind_ , he thought.

Inside the bedroom, you removed a couple of layers before laying down on the bed on your stomach in your side of the bed. Your arms laid were freely by your side as your head rested sideways. After stoking the fire, Bucky joined you.

When you laid on your front, your butt somehow seemed to be pushed up as if waiting to pop out. It looked rounder and much more plump than usual. Bucky tried very hard not to think about it, “Relax and keep your muscles free. Take a slow and deep breath. Tell me if anywhere it hurts or if it’s too much pressure. I am starting with your lower back, all right?” You nodded.

Sitting on his knees sideways near you, Bucky was mindful not to touch your raised ass. Using the whole of his hands, he started at the bottom of your back. Flexing at the wrists so as to not apply too much pressure, he patted his hands up and down on your back in quick and agile motions.

Wanting to toy with him, you said, “What, you call clapping my back a massage?”

“Oh, shut up. I told you to relax. I’ve just started. You’ll soon see what I call a massage, honey.” He said, smirks spread on both your faces.

Bucky continued it for sometime. Moments later, you couldn’t deny the stimulating and compressive effect it had on your tissue.

Then he glided the inside of his palm and fingertips in the short, circular motions, kneading lightly, maintaining long and even strokes. Slowly, his hands inched upwards and covered your entire back before coming back down and starting again. He kneaded your shoulder and lower neck everytime he reached there. The motion was so soothing you closed your eyes and just enjoyed the feel of it.

He started light, but as the pressure applied by him increased gradually with the passing minutes, you could feel your muscles ease and unwind. It felt as if the tension in them started flying away as his hands worked. God, did it feel good. Without meaning to, you let out a soft moan.

You didn’t realise that, but Bucky definitely did. His hands stopped for a second, worried he’d used too much force but then your voice said, “Wow, Bucky, you’re good. I didn’t know you could massage so well.”

He started again, “Uh, thanks.” He alternated between pressing and kneading hardly and lightly in his laps. It worked like magic on your hardened tissues. You couldn’t stop the low yet undeniable moans which left you.

But Bucky’s ears were much more sensitive, as were the other parts of him. Nothing really was low for him.

After continuing the kneading, his changed his motions. Bringing together his fingers like a lobster claw near your lower back, his fingers started pushing the skin back towards his thumbs like one would fold paper fans. His thumbs flattened the rolls of flesh meeting them as his hands moved up. The layers covering you made it hard, but it still had a soothing effect.

“Is this okay?”

“Perfect.”

’ _Ooh_ ’s and ’ _Aah_ ’s left your mouth every now and then as he continued. They were accompanied with so much feelings from you that he couldn’t keep his mind straight. Though another part of him had no qualms about being anything but straight.

Thumbs extended, he next pushed down gently on either side of your spine. His thumbs moved forward, angled towards your feet.

As he glided his thumbs, the knots in your cramped muscles were further relieved. You felt heavenly as your muscles loosened up. Your appreciation came from the unintelligible noises you made. As the pressure applied by his hands increased, so did the intensity of your moans, and so did his member. Bucky was having a very _hard_ time.

The final string broke when he worked on your acu-points. The moans you made were loud and powerful enough to hide his grunts. They were downright sinful. If there were any chances left of him not being hard by then, they were undoubtedly fulfilled.

His mind immediately shifted to all those massage porn videos he had ever seen. He remembered how they started with either the masseuse starting to stimulate the customer or the customer noticing the masseuse’s hard situation and taking care of it.

However, if anything here which was stimulated or was taken care of, they were your muscles. That too of the shoulders and back only.

He couldn’t stop his actions for the risk of you finding out the reason. You couldn’t stop expressing just how good he made you feel. There were a whole lot of ’ _couldn’t_ ’s and very less ’ _could_ ’s for his liking.

He continued though. Only for you. Anything for you.

After a long, long while, he sat back and criss-crossed his legs. He put a pillow on his lap before he asked, “You good?”

You gave out a very content sigh. You felt relaxed and refreshed, the muscles feeling smooth as butter as you rolled your shoulders. The pain and soreness you felt had vanished, replaced by a calming sense of ease.

Turning to lay on your back, you held his hand, “Good? Bucky, I’m great! More than great, in fact. You were amazing! Thank you so much! I really needed that.“

“It was nothing.” Bucky smiled. At least one of you got what you wanted. And then he saw you get under the covers, ready to head to sleep.

Being stuck with you, he didn’t know if it was his good luck or bad. He was near you, and yet he wasn’t. He could touch you, but he couldn’t _touch_ you.

Thinking about how he had to sleep near you and not with you, Bucky wanted to weep when he felt himself twitch under the pillow.

_Why does it always have to be me?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Fluff.
> 
> Chapter/Trigger warning: None that I can think of except for ‘highly self-indulgent’.

Calloused fingertips ran slowly through your hair, absent-mindedly drawing varied patterns with gentle prolonged strokes. Eyes closed, you basked in the alleviating motion. The faint pressure of his tips combing through your scalp lulled you into a deep state of relaxation. Not that you’d been stressed before, but you welcomed the calming drift with open arms.

Head perched on Bucky’s lap, you laid comfortably along the width of the bed on your back. The headboard of the bed supported Bucky’s back as his legs were stretched, ankles crossed.

Flesh hand racking through your locks, his metal one was encompassed in the heat of your hold. It felt cool to touch, much cooler than the rest of him, but it had a certain aura of warmth. Languidly, you traced the smooth plates making up his palm and fingers and the back of his hand, committing every cranny, every nook to memory.

Your tips climbed up and down the dips of his knuckles, rounding the impeccably curved tips now and then. They seemed crafted as well as the natural human ones. With the whole of his metal arm being that way, you didn’t know why you were so amazed by the uncanny resemblance.

Sweeping over the sleek black and gold plates over and over again, mapping the blend of contours and arcs, you said, “Never did I ever think I’d be tired of being uselessly free.”

From studying the simple joints of wood panels on the ceiling, Bucky’s eyes drifted down to you when you spoke, trailing over your delicate features and then again. Just because. He never thought he’d ever get tired of admiring your beauty anyways.

Eyelids shut, you looked content and yet dejected as your head rested on his lap. He knew you felt bored, hence the look of dejection maybe. He only hoped his presence was the cause of the slight contentment you felt.

It had been a couple of days since Bucky was able to contact Sam; three since they took refuge in this small cabin. There really was nothing to do except for eat, sleep, and repeat.

Chuckling, Bucky said, “It kinda reminds me of the time in Wakanda.”

Opening your eyes and slightly craning your neck, you glanced at him. Though he looked at you, his eyes held a faraway gaze, as if having found a distant memory and reminiscing in it. Closing your eyes, you settled in more comfortably. You loved hearing stories about his experience in the astounding African country.

“Tell me about it.”

Though you couldn’t see him, you knew he wore a bright smile as he remembered the days. You interlaced your fingers with his metal fingers as his flesh ones occasionally twirled a few locks of your hair.

This was new, the touching at every moment, only for more to be followed in the next. Bucky Barnes was a reserved man. He did want a soft and comforting touch, but there weren’t many people to give him that.

Steve, yes. Sam, sometimes. It wasn’t as if he was open to letting others touch him either. He sought out the familiarity in the amiable contact, the assurance of no ill content behind it.

The past decade had taught him to believe a touch only meant one thing. Pain.

You had been with him as long as Sam had, but he was only able to open up to you in the recent few years. He had become comfortable with you. Didn’t have any qualms about feeling your skin on him.

But there was always a limit. There was always a limit to how much he’d let someone in.

In the past few days, however, you and him seemed to literally keep in touch at all times of the day. Asleep or awake. It happened involuntarily, really. As if your hearts made decisions of their own, claiming what they desired.

Bucky had noticed that and so did you, but neither dared to comment on it. Afraid of making the other more conscious. Of losing the closeness it had brought along. Of losing the joy it brought to your hearts with just a touch.

Bucky tried to convince himself that it was because you needed it, the warmth the super soldier serum provided him. But what was the explanation of the warmth you gave him, without any enhancements?

You needed him, but he was no longer able to deny that he needed the feel of your touch much more desperately. He needed it every second of the day since he’d had a taste of it. A taste of what it felt like to be around you at all times. A taste of heaven which you brought to him.

From every fortunate moment he woke up with you in his arms to sleep in the same way, he’d cherished it deeply. He loved cuddling with you and being cozy. Whether you cooked, or ate, or just were together, you’d always found a way to touch each other.

Your touch had become familiar to him in such a soothing way; he’d been accustomed to it so well, he didn’t even want to imagine how being without it would feel like once you’d return.

But he didn’t want to burden the pleasant moment by worrying about the future. Choosing to savour it as long as he could, he clutched your hand protectively in his as your fingers linked. Warmth spread across his metal arm and it tickled as the heat made its way through his heart.

Sighing contentedly, he began, “After Shuri was able to get the effect of the words out of me, I was free to live outside the palace and with the crowd. I’d go to therapy daily at first, but the frequency decreased eventually.

"My only purpose there was to recover, to relax, so I didn’t really have anything productive to do. The children would play with me and braid my hair, but there’s only so much of that which could be done.

"I felt so useless there, I begged T'Challa to give me some work.” He paused, laughing before he continued, “I remember the look Okoye gave me. She thought I was a dumb old bitch. Wanting to work when free time was gifted to me on a gold platter.”

Bucky looked down at you when you chuckled. A beautiful smile graced your face, lightening up the glow already there. His pride swelled up a little, knowing and liking the fact that he could make you smile.

Beaming widely, he added, “I did the work they already had machines for. Loading and unloading. Carrying things from one place to the other. Just helping anyway I could, even if they didn’t require it.” He sighed, “Maybe I really was a dumb old bitch.”

Chuckling again, you tried to imagine as you said, “Ah, city boy turned farm boy. What a sight it would have been.”

“Picture oily, greasy hair, and mud ridden clothes. That’s how it was like.” He said.

Opening your eyes, you cheekily grinned at him, “I bet you still looked damn good, Bucky.”

Feeling colour rising to his cheeks, he was sure he would’ve stuttered had he spoken anything. You saved him from that, “I’ve always wondered if the serum prevented you from being ticklish.”

“Why?” The word wasn’t even out of his mouth when your fingers teased the sides of his torso. The furrow of his brows instantly morphed into a merry stance as he snickered.

“Stop,” He wheezed when you sat up and tickled him with all your might. Hands roamed over all the tickle inducing spots you could reach.

“Y/N, wait,” His eyes crinkled as he laughed. Seeing him squirm under you, you giggled along with him, enjoying the elated mirth on his face.

Pleading requests reached your ears between huffs of gleeful laughter. His hands tried to reach yours, swiftly shifted out of his reach. Not for long though.

Soon the tables were turned. His hands caught up to you. When he started tickling your spots, you tried to shrunk into a ball.

“Bucky!” You cried, eyes closing as you laughed joyfully.

“Nuh uh, doll, you brought this on yourself.” Snickering along, Bucky said mischievously as his hands lightly stroked your sides and under your chin.

You wiggled under him, but he didn’t let you escape. His fingers danced along your body. You shrieked with mirthful laughter when he reached a particular spot.

Your arms thrashed about as you tried to stop him. Bucky caged your hand in his when they hit his chest. Laughing still, he placed them by your head bent over you.

Giggling softly, you slowly opened your eyes as you calmed down from the high. You saw Bucky holding you down, a light chuckle playing on his lips. Suddenly you realised how really close he was.

Long dark locks framed his features as he leaned over you. His scruff had grown in the few days you were here. You decided you quite liked the look on him.

You wondered if he was open to the idea of growing his beard again. Bearded Bucky was a spectacular look after all.

Delight was clear in his expression as his blue eyes stared into your own. Upon such close inspection, you realised there was a bit of greyish touch to his eyes. Almost as if they could be called ocean grey.

How many before you had realised it? Or if it was your mind making you see things because it was clouded with the fact of your close proximity?

Bucky’s lips were plump and pink. They seemed much more bright and colourful against his pale skin in the extreme cold. Did his lips look this rosy before?

Bucky saw your eyes drifting across his face as a realization struck them. Your smile faded slowly but the dazzle in your made up for it as they took in every feature. When your eyes dropped to his lips, they stayed there for a while.

He couldn’t help but glance down at your lips. Slightly parted, they looked so soft. He wondered how sweet they tasted. Overcome by an urge to kiss you deeply and find out for himself, he looked at your eyes and back down at your lips.

It was only then that he realised how close he’d gotten to you. His breath hitched at that moment. He became nervous all of a sudden.

Yes, you two had been close ever since this fiasco started, but never like this. This was new to the both of you.

Something must have given him away, because he felt you stiffen under him. You too had realised close proximity.

He was worried you’d pull away. Not that you could with bed beneath you, but you could always turn your head sideways. You didn’t. Instead, your lips only parted a little more.

Only inches apart, he could feel everytime you exhaled. His heart raced with the possibilities of every outcome if he leaned down just a little more. How it could turn out, just like he’d dreamed about it. How he could finally have you as his.

And then the negative outcomes swarmed his brain. What if he was reading all the signs wrong? Granted he was an expert in body language, yet he wasn’t a mind reader.

If he did close the gap but you didn’t want it to happen, he could lose a good friend to awkwardness. There were also days to be cut until either of you would separate from each other.

The tension would be unbearable if you rejected his advances. He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let any of that happen at all.

Bucky Barnes was a fucking coward and so were you.

Reluctantly, he pulled back. You didn’t want him to, but you didn’t stop him either. Freeing your hands, he sat on his knees beside you. Leaning on the heel of your palms, you sat up too.

Bucky couldn’t meet your eyes as he looked down at his lap. You were much the same beside him.

The tension was so thick you swore it could be cut with a knife. Bucky didn’t want to make things awkward, but it had already gotten so.

After spending a pleasant time together, you didn’t want anything to become a thorn between the two of you. Without thinking, you quickly spoke, “Let’s dance.”

Bucky furrowed his brows, confusion overtaking his expression, “You wanna dance?”

“Yeah, let’s.” You shrugged, “It’s not like we got anything better to do.”

Bucky opened his mouth but closed it when nothing came to his mind. If you were trying to steer the two of you away from the unwanted tension, you were definitely succeeding. There was just one problem though. “I don’t remember how to dance.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like I’m Micheal Jackson either.” Bucky was glad the reference wasn’t lost on him. The spider kid was doing a good job updating him with all the highlights of the past century he’d missed.

Getting off the bed, you extended an arm towards him. Figuring just rolling with your idea would be easier than acknowledging the moment earlier, he followed you suit.

As he stepped in front of your form, you were unsure where to place your hands. Keeping some distance, you kept arms on his shoulder and linked your fingers behind his head. He brought his hands to your sides, holding you loosely.

You were close but not like before. He seemed to be fine with it and so were you.

You started with shifting your weight on either of your legs, proceeding to sway your body gradually from side to side and moving about in the small space of the room. He directed his body along with yours, going at it with the pace you set.

“There is no music, you know.” He remarked.

You pretend to give it thought, “I would be all poetic and say the birds are chirping and that’s music enough, but the thing is there are no birds around. Or any living things for that matter.”

Bucky scrunched up his nose, “Sounds a little creepy, doesn’t it?”

You nodded, “Yeah. Why don’t you sing?”

“Uh, no. I don’t want your ears to bleed.” He chuckled.

You tilted your head, “Come on, you can’t be that bad.”

“Well, I am that bad. Deal with it.” He said

You rolled your eyes comically at him, “Fine.”

He raised a brow, “Why don’t you sing?”

Not wanting to disclose your singing abilities to him, or rather the lack of it, you said, “Oh, just shut up and dance with me.”

Snickering, he replied, “As you say, Ma'am.”

Bringing your hands down to his side, you encircled them around his waist and placed your head on his shoulder. Swaying softly to the beat of your own heart, you enjoyed the rhythm already set.

It wasn’t really dancing per se, but it sure was relaxing. His warmth seeped into you through the embrace and. You relished in the feel of it. His heartbeat was clear under your ears, lulling you into a tranquil state.

Bucky liked the weight of your head on his shoulders. The way your hands were clasped behind his back. He felt whole in a way he couldn’t really describe. Resting his cheek on your head, his hands tightened their hold around you.

The quiet around you was comforting instead of unnerving like you had anticipated. You didn’t complain.

You spent a long time swaying in each other’s arms. It felt good, being held like this in Bucky’s warm embrace. You enjoyed the moment as long as you could.

Slowly, in a voice so low he thought he might have missed, you said, “I miss Sam, you know.”

Bucky felt a pang of jealousy hit him. Not that he had anything against Sam. In all honesty, he missed their banters and the constant quipping at each other. He missed his friend too, but a sense of insecurity followed as well. Would you have preferred Sam over him to be here with you?

Oblivious to his inner turmoil, you continued, “Ever since we were active paramilitary, it was I, him and Riley, together everywhere. When Riley…”

You trailed off. Memories of the wonderful times with your late friend surfaced up. A lump formed in your throat at the onslaught of pictures flashing before your eyes of Riley pummelling to his death.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and tried to calm down. You bit your lower lip to prevent it from trembling. Years later, the guilt of not being able to save him still lingered.

Who else would know better than Bucky how it felt losing your best friend? The constant guilt which ate you up when you thought it was your doing. The rethinking of every decision made which led you to lose them. The never ending ’ _What if’_ s.

He had fallen down that rabbit hole too many times, and you were always there to pick him up. He wasn’t about to back out when his turn came.

Feeling a warm hand pet your head softly, you looked up at Bucky. He didn’t say anything, but he smiled sweetly, encouraging you to continue.

“It was hard to deal with it, but we coped up together. Sam and I, we got closer than ever. He became like the brother I never had.”

Bucky knew it wasn’t the time, but he sighed in relief. It was all brotherly and sisterly and platonic love between you and him. Before he could celebrate though, you proceeded.

“Sam and I were inseparable after that, you know. Imagine my surprise when the one time I don’t go on a morning run with him and he meets Captain fucking America.”

You laughed at the memory of how mad you’d been at yourself for oversleeping that particular day. Sam had had to do quite some work to cheer you up.

“After the both of us became Avengers, we usually went on missions together. If we weren’t on the same missions, or when I was on one while he was at home, the work to be done didn’t let my mind wander. Even after he took the mantle, it was the same between us.”

You sighed, “It just feels weird, spending all of my free time being away from him.”

Glancing up at him, you kept your chin on his chest. Displaying a cheeky grin, you said, “But I am glad I have you here, Bucky. I like spending time with you, getting to know you better.”

Bucky felt his heart soar within his chest. He couldn’t contain the joy he felt at hearing that. Smiling widely, he tightened his arms around your waist, “I like spending time with you too, Y/N.”

Placing your head on his chest once again, you said, “I think I’m gonna miss this when we get back. All these moments. This closeness we’ve had.” You added for good measure, “You were the best cuddle pillow I’ve ever had, after all.”

Bucky chuckled softly, his chest reverberating as he did. Perhaps the intimacy you’d developed was only because of the circumstances you were put in, but he didn’t want to lose it. Only if as friends, the two of you had grown much more closer than before.

Just like you, he feared that when you’d be back to your normal lives, this connection would be lost. He didn’t want to squander all the progress he had made with you.

But he also didn’t want to fritter away the time he had with you right then only to worry about what would or could happen. He promised himself to appreciate and cherish any moment he had the chance to spend with you.

Softly, he said, “Don’t worry about it, doll. We got enough time for that later. **All we have is now**.”

“All we have is now.” You repeated, snuggling closer to him, luxuriating in the feel of his arms around you and savouring the warmth of his embrace in the cold.

The bliss didn’t last long though. There was a petty itch in your eyes, promoting you to bring your hands up to rub your lids.

Bucky pulled back when he felt the movement against him, “Hey, what happened?”

Face half covered with your palm as you tried to get rid of the itch, you said, “Something got into my eyes maybe.”

“Don’t rub your eyes. You’re only going to worsen it.” He tried to pull your hand away from your face.

Whatever it was, it irritated and burned the sensitive tissue of your eyes. You had to forcefully will yourself to let Bucky drag your hand away.

Leaning into you, he cupped your face in his hands and puckered his lips to softly blow on your eyes. Hot puffs of air hit you as he tried his best to relieve the itch. Keeping your eyes open was hard, but soon the unwanted particle was driven out.

“Better?” He asked.

“Yeah, thanks.” You muttered.

You realised a little too late the close proximity between you too. It was that moment again , rekindling the fire which wasn’t really put off before.

Your breaths slowed and your heart thumped loudly in your ears. Bucky could feel the erratic beats of your heart against him. He heard you gulp as you stared intently into his eyes which looked hungry yet gentle.

Your pupils dilated as your gaze fell down to his lips, lingering there before coming back to his eyes. Pushing your tongue out, you tentatively licked your lips teasingly slow.

Your lips glistened as Bucky glanced at them. They looked soft and delicious, and Bucky had never wanted to taste anything as bad as them.

He had stopped himself from doing exactly that for a reason before, but with his brain clouded with thoughts about you and your lips, he couldn’t remember why. It was as if his mind had stopped working, which he didn’t doubt it had.

Bouts of confidence hit him in that moment, overhauling his senses and preventing him from thinking about anything else. Would it really be wrong to have your lips on his, to taste the sweetness of you? It was all he’d desperately wanted to do since a long time but never dared to.

Throwing all caution to the wind, he finally leaned down…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you all know ensues next. 😏


	6. ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Soft smut. Fluff.
> 
> Chapter/Trigger warning: Smut. 18+ only please. Language.
> 
> I’ve worked quite hard for this, so some feedback would be appreciated. Hope I’ve been able to deliver how well it was in my mind. Also, thank you for continuing to read this series.

Bucky Barnes had done many daring things. Being a soldier in captivity with his control laying with strangers, he had no other choice. Not that they left any. After years of torture, he knew had to do it, to break free, to end the torment, to discover himself. Being an Avenger, it was his duty. **  
**

Bucky Barnes had done many daring things in life, and this very well could have been one of them - a higher ranked one even.

It seemed as if everything had hit pause in that moment all of a sudden, in and around Bucky. Although his breathing was hitched, his heart beat fast, thumping with trepidation inside his chest, so much so he swore it bumped against his ribs. Fingers cupped your cheeks were warm as he held you, yet a cold nervous stillness settled in his arms and the rest of him, keeping him rooted. 

The rattling windows were all but a distant noise, blocked by the booming of his heart in his ears. As evident, his heart was very much active, but his brain wasn’t. There were no thoughts flowing through it. All he could acknowledge were the thoughts of you, of your closeness, of the feel of skin against him, of your lips in front of him; all that was so close and yet so far.

Like the daredevil he had felt a few moments ago, all confidence and fearless courage prompting him; everything died down the minute he leaned down. 

As he got closer to you, his mind started working again, immediately pushing itself into overdrive, making him cease right before he touched your lips. A million thoughts coursed through his brain, knocking some unwanted consciousness into him. 

A sliver of gap between your parted lips teased him mercilessly. As if mocking him for thinking too much, for taking so long. Challenging him to give into his temptations, to remove any distance. Prompting him to think of the reward if he leaned just a tad bit more. 

Everything in him had wanted to do just that. Every fibre of his self begged him to take some action. To touch you, to taste you, to feel you, to bask in it.

His brain had put a stillness to the moment Bucky didn’t like. All the reasons why he had stalled kissing you resurfaced. No, you were right in front of him, millimetres apart. He wasn’t going to pull back. He had spent too long thinking what was right and wrong. What he deserved or didn’t. What he should or shouldn’t. He didn’t want to be responsible anymore.

Numerous things had been denied to him over the long course of his life. Some by villainous men, some by time, some by fate. 

He wasn’t going to let his own mind deny him you. Not anymore.

It was your and only your denial which mattered. If you did deny him, sure, he’d be heartbroken but he would respect your wishes no matter how much it’d pain him. Luckily enough, there were no signs of such from your side.

It had only been a handful of seconds in reality, but felt no less than long dreadful hours to him. With you so close to him, any sense of reality was lost in him anyway.

Lips hovering atop your open ones a hairbreadth away, he glanced down at them and then to your closed eyes. You looked to be trusting, inviting him, summoning him to do what his heart desired the most.

Longing tugged at his heart. To feel your smooth lips against him, to clutch you in his arms and never let you go, to make you feel special and loved, to tell you the extent of feelings he harboured for you. It had to start somewhere first.

Taking your lead, Bucky closed his eyes and took the leap of faith, closing the last of the unsought gap between him and you.

With the tenderness of holding a delicate flower, Bucky’s lips slowly brushed against yours as if testing the waters, barely getting a taste of your supple skin. Your hands looped around his waist, caging as much of him as you could in your loving embrace. It only left him yearning for more. 

Tilting his head, he gently grazed his lips against yours again, softly caressing your lips. Warmth flooded his nerves with every fond contact. Though it had hardly been a touch, he was already in love with the feel of your lips on him. 

Lightly, Bucky took your lower lip in between his, gently sucking on it before moving to the other. He Conveyed the adoration, the love he had for you in every delicate touch of his lips. 

Cradling your face in his warm hands, his thumb caressed your cheeks, making you warm from the inside. Your arms moved clutching the sides of his waists, bunching up the thick wool of his sweater in your fists, refusing to let go of him in case you were dreaming.

The moment so affectionate, so warm, so tender, Bucky never wanted to leave it. His heart raced with the feelings of an adolescent kissing their first love for the first time. It all felt so good, he needed to know, to be assured it was real.

Diving deep into the pool of faith, one of his arms moved down to circle your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. He pressed hard on your lips in a beat, making you gasp at the suddenness of his advancement - which was very much welcomed by the way.

The kiss was hard as his lips moved against yours, but slow enough to let him savour it, enjoy it, cherish the feel of your supple lips. Soft moans escaped you as he kissed you with passion. Bucky knew he’d never forget those sweet little sounds for the rest of his life.

None of his imaginations could compare to this, surpassing all his suppositions. Your lips were soft and warm, moving against his with such ease as if they were as if they were two conjoined pieces of a puzzle. 

Nothing had ever felt more right, more perfect than this. Bucky doubted anything ever would.

Your hands travelled gingerly from the side of his waist upto his hard chest and to his neck - but not before roaming and appreciating his expansive front. Gliding fingers through his smooth, silky hair, your hands curled around the back of his neck, gently running your nails through his scalp.

Bucky purred against you. Tightening his arm around your waist, he further leaned into you. His dark brown locks fell like a veil on the sides of his face, slightly tickling your jaw with the ends. You steadily stood on your toes for him. His hands trailed the sides of your body to your thighs, gripping onto it. Catching his message, you gladly jumped and curled your legs around his waist as he secured you in his hold.

Walking towards the bed as he kissed you dearly, he sat on the edge with you straddling his lap. One of his hands trailed along your thighs, his palm generously cupping cupping the curve of your ass in his large hand and appreciatively rubbing it, squeezing it from time to time.

Bucky tentatively licked your bottom lip, seeking your permission. Slowly, you parted your lips more, granting him all the access he needed. Instantly his tongue slid into you, grazing the tip of your tongue and moving across the rest of yours in light darting motions. 

A childlike giddiness pumped through his heart. Smiling gleefully in between the kisses, neither Bucky nor you could believe that after such a long wait, it was finally happening. Being in an embrace so loving, so caring, kissing sweetly and with passion; it felt no less than residing in heaven.

It didn’t take long for the kiss to turn hot and heated. His tongue swiftly played with yours as your and his lips passionately danced together. There was more need developing in your movements with each fleeting second. All the pent up feelings from months were poured into that one kiss.

Already a little stimulated from all the activities, Bucky nearly choked when you grinded your hips on his. It was slow and light at first, but kept on increasing gradually. Feeling daring and encouraged, Bucky grabbed both your butt cheeks in his warm hold and guided your sinful motion on him. 

Eventually you felt him harden beneath you with each salacious roll of your hips. Even through all the layers, you could tell he was long with an impressive girth. Just thinking of all the fun you’d have with him, especially with him inside you made heat pool in your center, making you pulse with need. 

Reaching behind you, you brought his metal arm from your ass to your breasts. Bucky was hesitant at first, but he soon cupped it in his hand, gently squeezing it with affection. 

“Wait, Y/N,” Bucky abruptly broke the kiss. Resting his forehead against yours, he and you panted heavily. You were worried you’d crossed a line, but then he said, “I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I lo-”

Bucky paused, processing what he was about to say. He always knew he’d dearly liked you, much more than a _just friend_ would. But did he…? 

He looked at you, at your mesmerizing eyes, at your beautifully swollen lips. He registered the warmth coursing through him, not only because you were with him, embracing him, kissing him; but because _you_ were with him - whenever he needed you, as a friend and more, trusting him endlessly. All your moments spent with him flashed through his eyes, his heart brimming with feelings he couldn’t describe. In that moment moment he realised the one thing he was dumb enough to see before.

He…he did love you. And he hadn’t even known it. 

Because Bucky Barnes was truly a specimen of an idiot.

Your breath was hitched. As you looked into his eyes, his blue orbs assessing your face, your heart stopped beating. Was he going to say what he was going to say? Would he really mean that? Another glance at his eyes, and you knew he would. 

This sent you reeling with unsure feelings cramming your brain. You liked him. You most definitely liked him. But love? Did you love him? Your heart was telling you one thing, but your mind refused to accept that you would have fallen for Bucky without even knowing it. But you didn’t want to deny it any longer. Yeah, you did love him. You had loved him all along with all your heart. 

And so were you. Two idiots in the same boat.

Glimpsing at your wide eyes, Bucky wondered if it was wise to outright say what he wanted to. He didn’t want to scare you off after all. Your surprised expression gave him all the more reason not to. 

Bucky gulped before he said, “I like you, Y/N. I really like you a lot. Not as a friend. It’s so much more than that. I mean, not that you’re not a good friend. You’re great and I’m very lucky to have you as my friend. But I want us to be something more than that, you know-”

A quick kiss to his swollen lips as you cradled his face, you pulled back, “I know, Bucky.” You giggled. It was sweeter and innocent and oh so lovely to his ears, making him put on a bashful smile.

You were a little upset upon not hearing the L-word you wanted to, but you didn’t let it drag the rest of your mood down. Perhaps it was for the best to not rush it. There was all the time in the world for you.

You softly said, “I like you too, Bucky. And this won’t be a one time thing. Not for me at least. I want this to work. I want you and me to work.”

He let out a sigh of relief, “Me too, Y/N. Me too. I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear this.” With a boyish smile gracing his face, he pulled you closer and cupped your cheek, “Be my girl, Y/N?”

Your bright eyes shone exuberantly, showing how elated you were. With a grin just as excited, you whispered, “Gladly.” 

You went back to kissing him frenziedly with over pouring passion. Hands zealously roamed each other’s bodies with soft but eager touches, committing every cranny, every nook to memory. A sense of belonging lingered in the back of your heads. To anyone else, you belonged to him and he to you. 

Desire burned through Bucky veins at the thought of calling you his. There were too many layers between him and you for his liking. He was desperate for some skin on skin contact with you. Pulling back for a second, he immediately discarded his sweater before joining your lips in another fervent kiss. 

Bucky clutched the bottom of your sweater and tugged it upwards. Breaking up the kiss, you helped take it off of you before kissing him again. One by one, the layers separating him and you were cast away until a thin shirt covered both your heated bodies. 

In an instant, Bucky rolled you over and pushed you up on the bed, climbing on top of you. Keeping some of his weight on his strong arms by your side, he pushed down onto you, covering every inch of your expanse with his. His metal arm came up and massaged your breasts. Through the thin material, your breasts were much more soft and tender. He could also make out the shape of the hard nipples, and he wasted no time in stimulating it with his thumb.

Kissing him heatedly with arms wrapped around his neck, you spread your for Bucky and curled them around his ass. Taking the hint, he started rocking his hips against yours through the sweats. His hard member rubbed against your centre, leaving you yearning for more.

His lips moved along your jaw before attacking your neck, littering your skin with short warm and eager kisses. His scruff rubbed against your cheeks in the most delicious way. “Bucky…” You moaned breathlessly when he found that spot near your ear, softly nibbling and sucking on it. The thought of him marking you with the added stimulation of his hand and hard shaft on your body was enough to shut your brain with nothing but lust clouding it.

Your hands snaked down between your bodies, fingers dipping under the waistband of his sweats to take it off. He promptly stopped you from doing so, “Are you sure about this, Y/N?”

Taking a deep breath, you nodded, “I’m sure Bucky, this is what I want.” Bucky nodded and enveloped your lips once again.

After a while when you attempted to lower his sweats, his hands stopped yours again. “You really sure, Y/N?”

“Yeah, I’m sure-” Bucky watched realization struck your face. Your expression became something akin to horror as you rushed out, “Oh my god! I am so sorry, Bucky. I should’ve asked if you were okay with this. I- I didn’t mean to force you into something you didn’t want to-”

“No, Y/N, I know. I trust you.” Bucky kissed below your ear. He sat back on his knees and you followed pursuit. “It’s just- It’s me, not you. You’re beautiful, you’re sexy. I want you, I really do. I think you can already say that by, well, this.” Pointing to the tent in his crotch, he gave out a nervous humourless laugh. Your cheeks flamed up.

Bucky hastily raked his hands through his hair, “I don’t know how to explain this.”

“You don’t have to explain anything, Bucky.” You softly said.

He grabbed your hand in his. Focusing solely at the joined hands as he said, “No, just listen, please. It’s- It’s been so long, you know. I do want to go all the way with you, if you want to. But everything- I mean, having sex right at the moment, I don’t think I can jump head first into that…" 

Gently cradling his face, you made him look at you, "Thank you for sharing this with me, Bucky. We won’t do anything you aren’t ready for. I am sorry for assuming things earlier. Just please keep communicating with me like this, yeah?”

Sincerity was etched clear in your eyes. Bucky’s heart swelled with the care you had shown him, how understanding you had been of his feelings. He nodded, burying his head in the crook of your neck, “Yeah, you too, Y/N.” Slowly, he raised his lips to your ears before whispering in your ear, seduction lacing every note his voice, “But they’re are other things we can do.”

Goosebumps travelled down your spine at how sexy he sounded. But his comfort came before your libido. You asked, “You sure, Bucky? We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“I want to, unless you don’t-”

You kissed him fiercely, pushing his shoulders so that he laid on his back. Climbing on top of him, you straddled his waist, “Yes, Bucky. God, I want you so much!" 

You traced his neck with wet kisses as you made your way down him. Stepping on the warm rug, you went down on your knees in between his spread legs. Running your palms on his beefy thighs, your fingers inched towards his waistband, "This okay?”

“It’s more than okay, Y/N.” Bucky watched with blown eyes as you pulled his sweatpants down to his ankles and off of him. Your eyes went slightly wide with surprise as you took in his intimidating length. 

It was big and girthy as you had anticipated, but the veins protruding at his sides was an unexpected fortune. Taking some time, you marvelled at his impressive member. Licking your lips, you gingerly wrapped your fingers around him, careful not to put too much pressure at once. 

Bucky threw his back, enjoying the feel of someone else’s hands on him other than himself after so long - especially when the someone else was you. Leaning forward, you placed a long warm and wet kiss on his head.

“Ah, Y/N,” Bucky moaned lasciviously. A dollop of precum escaped his slit. Slowly and carefully, you ran your thumb over his head, sweeping the precum off him and daubed around him, only to watch more precum resurface through his slit.

You pumped him leisurely, using more of his precum as lubricant. Flicking your wrists every now and then, you studied Bucky’s face. He breathed heavily above you, his lower lip clutched between his teeth. You wanted to pry his plump lip and nibble on it yourself, but you focused on the job at hand, quite literally.

Bucky leaned on his elbows to look at you playing with his pole. His pupils were blown, heavy with lust, almost looking black in the dim lighting. Glimpsing from under your eyelashes, you winked at him before diving to trail slow, soft, sensuous kisses on his shaft. From top to bottom and back up again after rounding his balls. Cherishing every inch of him you could reach. 

You couldn’t wait to taste him. Sticking out your tongue, you ran it over the huge vein on his underside. Bucky visibly shuddered beneath you. He took a sharp inhale when you wrapped your mouth around him, his brain shutting down instantly. 

You started light, bobbing your head up and down only around his tip. It had been a while for you too, so you didn’t want to test your limits just yet. Moreover, watching Bucky’s face contorted in pleasure was too big a delight for you to hurry and get over with it hastily. You wanted to draw it out as long as you could. Watching him unfold under your hands was no less pleasurable for you either.

Determined to show Bucky the time of his life, you swallowed him deeper. Though you couldn’t deep throat him, you took in as much of him as you could, your hands expertly took care of the rest of him.

Soft pants escaped Bucky as you worked on him with your mouth and hands. His senses were heightened. He couldn’t transform into words how good he felt with his cock in the heat of your mouth, your lips enveloping him. The velvety touch of your tongue felt magistical around him. He was so hard it was almost painful, but the smooth slippery feel of your mouth and tongue soothed him, calming his insatiable hunger for you.

You hollowed in your cheeks, swallowing him further and increased the pace of your bobbing. “Shit, doll! Just like that!” Bucky cried and couldn’t keep his weight on his arms anymore with the rush of feelings coursing through him. Dropping on his back, he tightly grasped the sheets in his grip with a desperate need to hold onto something.

Noticing it, you grabbed his hands and brought it to your head. He was uncertain at first, but with your insistence he slid his fingers in your hair and clasped it into a makeshift ponytail. He tried not to, but he couldn’t help guiding your motion with tiniest but of force. It significantly increased the pace of your mouth on him, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

Knowing he was nearing his climax soon, you stepped up your game. Collecting the spit which dribbled down your mouth on him, you applied a tad bit more pressure as your palms swivelled around his erect shaft. Your wet tongue traced the veins bulging on his shaft.

“Fuck, that feels so good!” His high pitched voice said, sounding hoarse and raspy. It turned you on immensely. You wanted to bring your hands down and relieve yourself, but he was your top priority at the moment.

Your tongue swirled over his head repeatedly, picking up the precum and spreading it as your mouth went up and down on him. One of your hands streamed down to his balls, massaging the pair of them and lightly tugging at his filled sacs.

“Oh…Y/N…” He moaned and grunted helplessly above you, withering as you pleasured him. Your name fell like a worship from his lips. A raw, base urge satiate his need took a hold of him. His grip tightened on your hair. Try as he might, Bucky couldn’t stop himself from bucking his hips into your mouth. 

One of your hands went under his shirt, wandering over his taut muscles and hard abs. A sheen of sweat covered his muscles which were tensed under your touch, his body urgently awaiting a release. Reaching his pectorals, you circled your fingers around his nipple. Soon you started playing with it. 

Under all your ministrations, Bucky felt overwhelmed. He couldn’t delay it any longer. He stuttered, “I’m- ah, I’m so close.

Bringing both your hands back to his shaft, you put greater effort into pleasing him. Simultaneously flicking your wrists as you pumped him up and down, you moaned around him as you bobbed on his cock hastily. The added vibration edged him further.

With a few more strokes, Bucky grunted loudly, his voice extremely rough, as he released his load into your mouth. You kept stroking him through his orgasm. The sweet and tangy mixture of his cum filled you. It was viscous and delicious and much more in quantity than you had expected. You swallowed as much as you could, but some dribbled down the corner of your lips to your chins. 

After you were sure he had finished shooting his load down your throat, you pulled back and saw him lying on his back, his chest sharply rising and falling as he took deep breaths to calm himself down. His eyes were shut and his hands had fallen off your head, resting limply by his side.

Slowly Bucky opened his eyes, only to watch you muster up the cum from the corner of your mouth in your fingers and lewdly lick it until all that remained were your glistening fingers. Leaning towards you, he clasped your arms and brought you up from the floor and on top of him.

His hands tightly gripping your waist, he instantly kissed you violently, not minding the taste of his cum on your lips. Traversing down your body, he groped your ass in his palms, squeezing it appreciatively.

"That was lovely, doll. You were amazing.” He breathed, his voice still raspy.

“I’m glad you liked it.” You grinned, feeling proud of your skills.

He turned you over pinning you between him and the bed. He nipped at your ear, “It’s my turn to make you feel good now.”

“You don’t have to-”

He shut you up with a bawdy kiss, his tongue silencing you. “I want to, babydoll.”

“Good, because I’m horny as hell right now.” You declared.

Bucky chuckled, “Don’t worry, baby. You’ve got me now.”

Climbing off of you, he threw his undershirt over his head and helped you out of yours. “So beautiful,” he whispered, taking in the sight of your breasts for the first time. Kissing them briefly, he trudged down your body, leaving a trail of warm kisses in its way.

Taking his place between your knees, he pulled your sweats off of you before curling his hands around your thighs. He hauled you towards him, placing each of your thighs on his shoulders.

Bucky fixed moist kisses on your inner thighs, tardily inching towards your center. Running a finger through your slit, he bemusedly watched your juices glistening his digits and said, “You’re so wet, doll.”

You nodded eagerly, “All for you, Bucky.”

The dark haired man in between your knees growled with hunger. His calloused finger leisurely circled around your clit, teasing you mercilessly. Your legs tightened around his shoulders, pulling him towards you, urging him to act fast.

Relenting, Bucky’s calloused thumb collected some of your juices and pressed your clit to your body, massaging the sensitive tissues. Though he hadn’t pleasured a woman in a long time, he did remember some of his tricks. Using them wisely, he worked his experienced fingers on you. 

He brought his other hand up to your pussy, fingers running through your slit. Finding your entrance, he inserted a single digit in you, making you gasp loudly. Your heat enveloped him at once, your walls snuggly around him. 

His finger was thicker than you’d imagined, and felt exceptionally bigger in your tight space. His thumb kept rubbing your clit as his finger pumped in and out of you slowly. You got wetter and wetter by the second, making it easier for his fingers to work on you.

Bucky soon replaced his thumb with his mouth. Plump lips draped over your clit as his tongue played with it. You moaned obscenely under him. Sucking on your nub faintly, he used his tongue flick over it, occasionally licking it, lapping at it like a hungry beast. 

Desire ablazed your nerves, a coil in your abdomen tightening. The warmth of his mouth on your sensitive nub, his moist tongue fiddling with it, his finger buried in your heat - it all felt exquisitely wonderful. 

Glancing down at him, you saw Bucky hard at work with your pussy. Watching him between your knees, so intimately close to you, you blushed hard, tinting cheeks red. You’d always had an image of Bucky carnally pure and innocent. It was known to you that he was not a virgin. On the contrary, as per the sources, he’d been quite a ladies man back in the day. 

With you, however, he’d been no less than a gentleman. True, you had imagined Bucky with you in situations like these countless times, but they were nothing close to the reality. You never knew you’d see this side of Bucky; this naughty, hungry, definitely not at all innocent side. To know you brought out this carnal side in him, it only turned you on more.

Mewls escaped you as he ate you like a man starved for decades, which he probably was. Your juices were sweeter than honey to him. Though it was his first time, he already loved tasting you, lapping up all you had to give him endlessly. Your sweet juices were no less than ambrosia to him.

“Bucky…” You lewdly moaned when his fingers, glassy with fluid coating them, slithered towards your chest. Cradling both your breasts in each palm, Bucky adoringly squeezed them, loving the softness of your breath in his hold. He was sure groping you could easily be his favourite pastime.

Bucky softly kneaded your boobs in his palm, his fingers gyrating around your rock hard nipples while tongue worshipped your clit. One side hot, the other side cold. The varied temperatures ecstatic on your heated skin. 

Bucky increased his pace on your clit, your body thrumming with bliss. He drove you closer and closer to your edge. You shut your eyes, thoroughly enjoying all the sensations coursing through you. You kept grunting and moaning, chanting his name like a prayer. 

Your sinful moans were better than luscious melodies to his ears, especially when his name toppled out of your lips so sensuously. He was already addicted to the sound of his name from your lips.

Set on showing you a good time like you had done for him, Bucky skilfully swirled your sensitive clit with his tongue. Greatly overwhelmed, you squirmed underneath him. 

He brought his hands down to your waist, keeping your wiggling form in place. Goosebumps were raised all over you as his hands left your nipples, suddenly exposing your skin to the cold air.

Gingerly putting his finger inside you again, Bucky stroked in and out of you softly and smoothly, getting you accustomed to the intrusion. His mouth never left your nub, his tongue drawing various patterns around your clit with increasing intensity.

The coil tightened further in your belly. As he passionately ate your pussy, you became a moaning mess for him. Feeling the need to grab onto something, your hands travelled down to his head out of their own accord, gripping his dark silky locks tightly in your hold.

Bucky carefully inserted a second finger in your heat, which you were more than ready to welcome. Sensing you were close to your end, he doubled in his efforts. Squelching sounds filled the room as he rocked his fingers inside you. 

Unconsciously, you bucked up your hips as you chased your nearing orgasm. So close to it, you stuttered unintelligibly in between moans, which Bucky could faintly make out as you urging him to keep going as he was. 

Your back arched as he curled his fingers inside you, successfully finding that spot after some tries. His long, slender fingers repeatedly brushed against it. Your eyes rolled back in your head with overflowing delight and your toes curled.

His mouth and fingers worked in tandem on you, driving you over the edge. You didn’t even have the time to say something when white hot pleasure coursed through you as you violently came, your legs shaking around Bucky’s head. 

Bucky hungrily gulped your release, not letting a single drop go to waste. When he pulled back, his chin was glistening with your fluid. Licking his lips, he wiped the residue with the back of his hand. 

As he crawled over you, your eyes were still shut and you breathed heavily. A blissful glow adored your face, a content smile playing on your lips; looking candid under the soft golden light of the fireplace. Fluttering open your eyes, you saw Bucky hovering over you with a merry grin. 

“You were great, Bucky,” Bringing him down to you, you kissed his moist puffy lips. Bucky reciprocated, slowly moving to lay on his side beside you without breaking the kiss. Basking in the fulfilment you felt, you strayed from his lips to his cheeks, nose, eyelids and forehead, kissing every inch of his face.

“So good,” Bucky felt your appreciation for him pouring through each kiss as you cherished him. His arm snaked around your waist, keeping you close to him - to his heart, which beat only to your rhythm. 

Your lips traversed down his neck to his left shoulder, placing soft kisses to the harsh ridges along the conjuncture bit by bit, not at all rushing in the slightest. Bucky hid his face in your shoulder, immensely grateful to know that when you said you liked him, you did mean _all_ of him.

Soon you settled against his hard warm chest under the mountain of blankets, feeling safe, secure and loved in his arm. Fingers cosily interlacing together, your naked bodies pressed into one another without any hesitation or shame. Content and exhausted, it didn’t take you long to slip into slumber in his loving embrace.

Playing with the tip of your locks, Bucky watched you sleep peacefully with a love sick smile. He still couldn’t believe how the day had worked out; that you were his girl, willing to accept him with all his flaws. It felt like a dream to him, as if he’d been living in his own crafted fairy tale. 

He wanted to thank the stars and the gods above for bringing him to you. For giving him the fortune of not only being your friend but something blissfully more than that. For deeming him deserving enough of your love and trust. 

He briefly wondered if any of it was under Thor’s control, if he was the one Bucky needed to express his gratitude to - or any of his unknown family members for that matter. 

Regardless, he had you in front of him at the moment and he only wanted to focus on you. Thanking you in his heart instead, he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead - a promise of his love, his loyalty to you, and closed his eyes to join you in slumber. The feel of your skin flush against his reminded him that it was indeed his reality which granted him the joy of being with you.

For now, and hopefully forever.


	7. ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Soft smut. Fluff. Teasing.
> 
> Chapter/Trigger warning: Smut. 18+ only please. Language.

Laying on your side, as consciousness slowly sipped into you, you noticed a few things around you before you could open your eyes. A heavy arm laid on your middle, not exactly clutching you in its grasp, but rather just holding you close, safe and sound in its hold. A warmth, fulfilling and rich, cocooned your body. Low and soft, broken moans and grunts poured right into your ears from behind as short gusts of warm breath tickled your cartilage.

Most prominent of them all though, was the hard length nestled bare in between the soft skin of your butt cheeks. The gentle rutting of Bucky’s cock on your ass ignited a desire to flow through you. Although half asleep, the feel of it all was too overwhelming to ignore. Half, incomplete moans in your ears in his morning gravely voice were much more delicious than ever.

Somewhere in the back of your head, you could sense that he wasn’t awake, grooving his member against you in his sleep. That somehow made it that much more intimate, to know that even when unconscious, he sought for you and your warmth. That even when unconscious, in his most vulnerable state, he trusted you with every part of himself.

You couldn’t help but buck your hips against Bucky, relishing in the way the grunts behind you sounded heavier with much more feels. It only caused your core to tighten, a heat to pool between your thighs. Even though you weren’t fully awake yet, your brain still unconscious enough to not remember much in clear details, your sleep laced mind knew who it was behind you. Holding you closely, giving you a sense of security, making a wave a pleasure course through you and he pleasured himself. Almost as if thinking of anyone else but him in that moment would feel wrong.

“Bucky,” you moaned as he humped harder against you. Hearing your sweet voice calling out his name sinfully, something propelled him to clutch his arm tighter around you and bring your behind closer to his. As his length pressed more firmly against you, telling you just how hard he was, you unintendedly moaned louder. 

His name leaving your lips in such an erotic manner gradually roused him from his sleep. As the haziness cleared from his mind, Bucky immediately stopped what he was doing, quite ashamed of himself for taking advantage of you like that, wondering what he started doing it in the first place. 

Bucky noticed the feel of your smooth skin bare under his touch. He couldn’t help but drag his curious hands across your torso but stopped when his fingers touched the underside of your breasts. He blushed quite hard too. Despite the blankets covering your forms, he could see your bare shoulders peeking from underneath. 

He blushed even harder as he realised neither you nor him had any layers on beneath the blankets. It didn’t help his case when he realised his member was settled quite snugly between your ass cheeks.

Bucky wrecked his mind to remember why the pair of you were in such a state of undress, until the last night came back to him. The confessions, the moans, the words, everything came rushing to him, to remind him how lucky of a man you had made him by accepting to be his girl. In an instant he was overjoyed. Overjoyed to know that all of it was real, to know that none of it was a dream. 

“Y/N,” he said, bending down to place a trail of soft loving kisses on your shoulder and along the curve of your neck. 

Now nearly awake, you tilted your head to give him more space and gingerly brought his arm from underneath your breasts to upon it. Taking the hint, he kneaded and softly squeezed your boobs. You bucked your hips against his again, but his hands stopped you from taking anything further.

He let out a sigh before turned you on your back and looked deeply into your eyes. For some reason, his eyes looked regretful to you, “I am sorry, Y/N. I didn’t know I was doing it in my sleep. I don’t want you to think that I was taking your advantage or anything. You have to know I’d never do anything like that-”

Smushing his face between your palms, you quickly cut him off with a kiss. Bucky was taken aback for a second, but he took a hold of his bearings and kissed you back passionately. A hand looped around your waist and he rubbed your back which led him to palm your ass fondly.

You pulled back and leaned on your elbows to look at him in the eyes. How much more perfect could a man be? Caressing his cheek, you tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear, “I was enjoying it, Bucky. And I know you’d never do anything of the sort. Why do you always forget that I told you,” you leaned forward and pecked him on the lips slowly, “I trust you.”

Bucky smiled widely in between short kisses, thanking his stars for finally letting him have someone as precious as you. You kept kissing each other for a while, drunk on the newfound love between you two. Hands roamed the other’s body slowly, sensually, appreciatively.

Bucky had never been as close to heaven as he had been in that moment. His warm body bare against yours, not separated by any nonsensical thing; you in his arms, taking comfort in his hold while giving him some too. Kissing you, touching you, loving you. Really, this was no less than heaven for him.

You trying to rub your thigh against his erection was a wonderful bonus.

Putting you back on your back, Bucky slightly leaned over you as he laid on his side. You swore you could see stars alone from the way his plump lips kissed you, his tongue caressing your inside your mouth.

“Can I touch you this way?” You asked, carefully laying a hand on his shaft under the blankets. 

Bucky drew in a sharp breath at the touch, a bit surprised but loving it nonetheless. “Trust me, it’s more than okay,” he said. He was about to ask you something too, but you beat him to it.

“You can touch me anywhere anyway you want to, really. I’m comfortable with it as long as you are." 

You delicately wrapped your palm around him and started pumping him slowly. His member throbbed under your touch, making you feel immensely good for having such an effect on him. Gently sweeping your thumb over his head, you used the little beads of precum to lubricate his shaft. Bucky hid his face in the crook of your neck as you did so, a lewd _Ah_ escaping his lips.

He soon brought his fingers downward to your sex. Running them through your slit and finding it wet, he seductively whispered in your ear, "All of this for me, doll?" 

"Everything, for you.” You whispered back. He collected your on his fingers before taking them up to your clit, stroking it tenderly, making you only wetter by the second. You bit your lips as a new wave of desire coursed through you. 

You focused on pleasuring Bucky as good as he pleasured you. Holding his member a little more tightly, you flicked your wrists with every up and down movement as much as your cramped up position allowed. Your thumb caressed his head every so often, making him moan obscenely every time you did that.

And his moans, _oh god_ his moans.

If you thought his morning voice was sexy, his moans and grunts were another level entirely. Listening to his gruff, gravely voice repeat your name with _Oh_ s and _Ah_ s - uncontrolled, purely on instinct, just for your ears, was a new high for you.

Your need to see him was just as bad as your need to hear him. Gripping the blankets with your free hand, you pushed them away from yourselves as your legs worked on kicking them off. Cool chilly air hit your exposed heated skin when Bucky wasn’t covering you in a much more merciless manner than you had anticipated. But one look down your body to glance at his member being stimulated by you; to glance at the drops of precum escaping his slit as you worked on him was worth it.

It didn’t last though. You couldn’t help closing your eyes and tipping your head back in pleasure as Bucky stepped up his game. Switching between massaging your sensitive nub in various invisible patterns, he had already increased his pace as he put just the right amount of pressure. When you pushed the blankets off of you though, it was a different story. 

He raised his head from your neck to glimpse down where you stroked him and he did to you. Realising that you liked watching it as you played with his shaft, that you loved to see his thick throbbing member let slip precum under your touch, it did something to him, igniting something raw and carnal inside him. 

In an instant he worked his fingers harder and faster on your sensitive clit. Increasing his pace further, he put all of himself into stimulating you, bringing you closer to the edge. The world, the surroundings, nothing mattered to him. It was you and only you on his mind. Being ravished under his fingers, seeking him and his touch to achieve that ultimate goal. 

Closing your eyes, you relished in the feels Bucky was giving you. The scent of your arousal lingered heavily in the air. His full lips attached to your neck, lightly nibbling and sucking the most sensitive of parts. Overwhelmed with all the sensations being bestowed upon your body, you desperately needed to clutch onto something, to keep yourself anchored to the real world. With nothing else to hold onto, you bunched up the sheets in your hand.

Bucky noticed the pace of your hands on his cock faltering for a few moments as your moans rose in volume. He didn’t mind it though. It must mean he was doing something right. He was quite proud of it.

“Bucky- ah - it feels so good,” you said with your eyes shut tight, desperately trying to focus on pumping Bucky but his fingers worked so well on your pearl that it was hard to concentrate on anything else.

“You are so good,” Bucky mumbled in your ear before littering your neck with hot wet kisses, his warm breath pounding your neck. He loved listening to the gorans and mewls falling out of your lips, loved knowing that he was the reason behind them.

The coil in your belly was tightening more and more, yearning to finally be able to let go. You arced your back as he played with your clit, massaging it with expert roll of his fingers. It was dizzying, the rush of feels which followed soon after. 

Moaning helplessly, you let the tension in your abdomen uncoil as you came in Bucky’s fingers under his ministrations. Pleasure coursed through your veins hot and fast as you withered next to him.

Your hand unintentionally gripped Bucky’s cock harder. Bucky groaned, unbelieving how good it felt. His fingers rubbed you some more, determined to prolong your orgasm. You mewled as his fingers kept teasing you, stretching your orgasm.

You stroked him faster, driven to get him to orgasm as well, deploying all the tricks you could think of. You whispered sweet nothings into his ear, telling him how good he had made you fell, how good you planned to make him feel. 

Reaching the edge himself, Bucky bucked his hips into your hand, desperately awaiting to climax, your touch bringing nothing but delight to him. A few strokes later, Bucky too let himself go, finally tipping over the edge, groaning obscenely. Hot thick ropes of his cum landed on your torso in short bursts, painting your skin with his release.

Panting heavily, you both tried to calm yourselves down from your high. You turned to look at Bucky. Smiling candidly, wide and bright, his expression mirrored your own. Despite your cum-stained selves, the moment felt so raw, so pure, it was heartwarming to say the least. If it were possible, you had already lost yourself in his eyes.

None of you had to say anything to know how wonderful it had been for the other. Your gazes showed everything there was to be known. Holding your hand in his, he interlaced your fingers with his before bringing them close his lips and softly kissing your knuckles. 

Something tugged at your heart from the way he looked at you, his gaze looking deep into your soul with all the love he held for you. Only you. As if you’d hung the moon and the stars, as if you’d bring them to him if he asked you to. Glancing into his gentle blue orbs, you realised you just might. 

Overwhelmed once again with the intensity of his gaze, your chest rose and fell and breaths quickened. And here you thought you were calming yourself down. But how could you, when he was looking at you so lovingly? You knew you were in love with this man. 

But now you knew you were deeply and irrevocably in love with this man.

You couldn’t, however, tell him that. Not outright, anyway. While you wanted more, _so much more_ , things needed to be escalated at his pace. His comfort was just as important as yours. If he wanted your relationship to go slow, it’d go slow. Moreover, you were much too afraid to lose something as precious as your and his bond.

Afraid you’d do something, or rather say something you’d regret later, you attempted to divert his attention from your face. Swiping his cum from your skin on your finger, you lewdly licked his cum off your finger, all the while holding his gaze, appreciating the tangy yet sweet taste of him in your moan. 

Watching you, Bucky groaned, “You’re going to be the death of me,” Cupping your face, he smashed his lips against yours. The kiss was rather hard, hot and heated, and you loved every second of it.

Pulling back, gleeful, bashful smiles once again took a hold of his handsome face. You couldn’t help but let them take their hold on you too. 

You were happy. You were very happy, in fact. But the universe was set on making you feel anything but that.

The near empty cupboards in the kitchen stared back at you, as if mocking and teasing you, challanging you to somehow improve their state. From the scarce number of jars and cans there were, at least half of them were already expired or not at all edible. What little food was left, it was just that. Little. 

Since day one you and Bucky tried to ration what was left, but even then the daily rations were too small. Normally, the lack of food wouldn’t have bothered you much. Though it wasn’t ideal, you could’ve hunted wild animals to survive. However, where you were stuck seemed to have little to no fauna. You only consoled yourself by reminding your panic stricken mind that if FRIDAY’s calculations were true, you’d only have to for half a week more to get back home. 

If.

You didn’t doubt Tony’s creation, god you didn’t at all. But your brain only conjured the worst case scenarios every time you thought about getting out of your predicament. 

You were soon put out of your misery as a pair of strong familiar hands closed around your waist from behind. The wall of Bucky’s body pressed firmly against your back. His head dipped to place soft comforting kisses on the curve of your neck, his long locks ticking your skin as he did so. Leaning back against him, encompassing your arms around his own, bending your neck, you greedily took the calm and comfort his presence provided you. 

Oh what a pleasure it was for Bucky! To be able to hold you, cherish you in his arms as and when he desired too. He didn’t need to restrain his a-little-too-friendly touches anymore, fearing you’d deem him too forward. He could kiss you sweetly and passionately to his heart’s content - and receive the same from you.

A heaven, really.

Resting his head in the hollow of your shoulder, Bucky tightened his arms around you some more. He didn’t like the thick heavy layers which were separating you from him. He much preferred feeling your skin against his, your warmth pressed into him without any barriers. If you needed anything thick and heavy, it should’ve been him covering your body like in the between the sheets that morning, or the night before.

Shaking his head mentally to clear off the creeping ideas, Bucky wondered since when he had become so possessive and territorial. But you were in his arms, safe and sound. It was all that mattered.

“Hey there, is something wrong?” he asked, remembering you seemed distressed a few seconds ago.

“It’s-” you started, but stopped yourself before you could continue. Maybe you were worrying for nothing. Maybe all would turn out well and fine as FRIDAY had said. You didn’t want to worry Bucky too with your panic laced thoughts. “It’s nothing.”

Even you could tell how unconvincing that sounded. Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, his voice taking a serious note, “You know you can talk to me, right, doll? You can tell me if something’s worrying you.”

You leaned into him more, thankful for his comforting presence behind you. “It’s probably nothing, but…” And you proceeded to tell him all about all your worries.

Bucky turned you around, keeping his hands on the small of your back. Cradling your face in his metal palm, he said, “It’s gonna be alright. Don’t worry about it. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

You were about to say something, but he continued, “Even if things don’t turn out as they’re supposed to, we’ll find another way. We’ll work something out. We always do.” Looking softly into your eyes, he added in a gentle voice, “I’ll take care of you.”

Smiling, you circled your arms around his torso and laid your head on his chest, “I know, me too." 

Bucky kissed your head before tucking your head under his chin, "I know you will.”

Snuggling closer to the warmth he offered, you said, “It’s just so fucking cold." 

"Well, I know of a few things that we could do to keep ourselves warm." 

Pulling back a little, you tilted your head up towards him, your mind thinking of one thing only to keep yourselves 'warm’, "You are one insatiable man, Bucky. And I’m loving it.”

Bucky looked at you amusingly, his sugary sweet smile replaced by a smug one. Bucky lowly spoke in your ear, “As much as I’d like to undress you and take you apart by my fingers right here, right now, _again_ ,” Your cheeks flushed as you remembered the fun you’d had that morning right after your supposed breakfast, “I didn’t mean that." 

Looking at your confused face, totally not admiring how cute you looked, he continued, "I meant we could spar. It’s been a while, you know?”

Cheeks still tinged with your blush for taking his words in a completely different way, you nodded your agreement and moved to the living room. The couch was already moved towards the fireplace, leaving which there really wasn’t much furniture to move around to get some open space in the middle. Shrugging off a few layers, you stretched - Bucky totally didn’t ogle at your ass while you did so, and started sparring with him.

The atmosphere was light and fun like it had always been with the two of you. Kicks and punches were thrown and dodged, different techniques were applied and rendered useless as each tried to out do the other. The offences were serious though, just enough to tease and enjoy the physical back and forth. After a while of dancing around each other with hits and jabs, it finally looked like one had attained the top hand.

Bucky had your head in a lock with an arm circled around your neck and another across your waist, keeping you immobilised. Though it didn’t sound bad. On the contrary, you very much liked the position he had trapped you in.

“What’re you gonna do now, Y/N?”

If only he knew. 

Biting your lips, you started wiggling your hips in front of his crotch, pushing your behind back and lightly twerking your hips as best as you could. Bucky wasn’t hard then, but you knew if you continued like this it wouldn’t take much time.

Catching onto your play, Bucky chuckled, “Oh, that’s playing unfair, doll.”

“Are you telling me you don’t like it?” You asked with a smug smile.

“Quite far from it, baby. I love what you’re doing to me.” He quickly turned you around without letting you leave his grasp and swiped your leg from under you, letting you fall on the rug below - but gently, of course. “But I won’t let you win because of that.” He trapped you underneath him by sitting atop your torso, his weight managed on his legs while one arm pinned both your wrists above your head.

Just what you had been waiting for. Jerking your wrists and breaking your hands out of his hold, you grabbed his collar before using his weight against him, throwing him to his side. It didn’t take you long to mount him just as he had mounted you before. You didn’t pin his hands though, opting to lean forward and run a finger down the side of his face instead, “You sure about that, Mister?”

Flipping you on your back again, quite easily since you didn’t restrain him - not that you were trying to, he took the upper hand again and fixed you under his weight. “Quite sure about that.”

“Oh, just come here,” Smiling unabashedly, you pulled yourself up to sit on your hips. Your arms curled around his neck as you kissed his full lips lovingly. Though short lived, Bucky enjoyed the kiss thoroughly before he stood up, pulling you up along with him. 

Bucky was walking backwards, you hand clasped in his, dragging you to the couch for an afternoon of cuddling. When his leg hit the corner of the couch at an awfully bad angle, he realised too late he had miscalculated the distance to the couch as he tumbled to the ground with a _thump_ and groan, his eyes contracting in pain.

“Bucky,” you shrieked, eyes widening as you saw his descent. Rushing to him, you quickly knelt by his side and raised his head to your lap. “Shit, you alright?” You stroked head gently, looking for any injuries. You’d admit later you were a little too worried.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Buck muttered, “Just didn’t expect that.”

Suddenly he heard laughter from his side. Peeking open his eyes, he looked at you laughing hysterically. Confusion crept on his face, unsure whether you were trying to take care of him or make fun of him.

“What? What is it?”

In between laughs, you panted as you said, “The Winter Soldier, the White Wolf, one of the most skilled men to walk on this planet, undefeated by an Avenger but defeated by a rusty old couch.”

As Bucky heard the irony roll off your tongue, he couldn’t help but chuckle alongside too. That, however, wasn’t long lived as he was once again enraptured by your beauty. The grin stayed on his lips, but for a different reason then.

Your eyes crinkled beautifully in mirth as the harmonious sound of your laugh filled the air. You were clearly enjoying yourself, while he was enjoying watching you being happy his heart thumping wildly. Looking at you in that moment, Bucky knew he’d do anything humanly possible to keep that radiant smile on your face.

Man, he really had fallen hard for you.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Fluff.
> 
> Chapter/Trigger warning: Language? Like teensy weensy bit of angst?

Bucky looked at it. Kept looking at it. And looked at it some more.

The metal armed man was sure he couldn’t ever get tired of the sight in front of him. It was simple and yet so complex he felt he could get lost into it and never regret a second. It might not be much, but it was enough for him to lose himself. He didn’t know how to describe the sense of serenity it brought him. 

Peeking through the light fluffy clouds, the setting sun cast warm golden rays that gave every snowy surface around you a honey like glaze. As the time gradually passed, various colours in the most brilliant of their shades blended beautifully to embellish the never-ending sky. As the slanting rays of the sun flitted through the clouds, the yellow filter in the sky gave way to a graceful braid of pink and orange before shrouding everything is it’s vermilion hue.

In the handful of days you had taken refuge in the cabin, not one day had the sun been kind enough to grace you with its presence. When today it finally did, you and Bucky realised it was too good an opportunity to miss the sunset view these mountains offered. Without any further ado, a bonfire was created outside the cabin with dry leaves and firewood arranged meticulously. 

The splendid view of nature in its finest forms was exploited to its full content. You and Bucky sat around the bonfire, taking in the furiously blushing sky and the snow covered peaks shining golden in the distance as the clouds traversed through them.

Bucky was taken aback by the raw beauty in front of his eyes. It reminded him of the sunsets in Wakanda. Sure it wasn’t comparable to those in the futuristic and fascinating country, but it was a close second. He only grew more in awe of the view the more he looked at it. Majestic was one word for the sight in front of him. It wasn’t the sky though. 

It was you. 

A small, unconscious smile took a hold of his lips as he took in your face, peacefully resting on his shoulder. Your arms were tightly curled around his vibranium one, your body leaning its weight on him. A shared blanket was thrown over your backs, trapping in the heat the fire provided.

For Bucky, it was majestic, really. How could it not have been, looking at your face, at the blend of the colours from the setting sun and the fire casting a beautiful glow to your already beautiful self? Your serene features were highlighted by the natural light and the dancing flames. You looked elegant and exquisite, more so than anyone he had ever known. As bewildering as it sounded, Bucky had met a god but the warm colours grazing your skin truly made you more divine than any other celestial being. 

Bucky was utterly whipped.

Sensing his gaze on you, you tilted your head to look at him. Bucky had always had an intense face, even when he was relaxed or didn’t mean to do it. You had encountered it many a times and dealt with the increase in your heart rate it brought, but you could never get used to his soft smile and gentle eyes looking at you with such adoration, such love, such trust, as if you had hung the stars and the moon for him. It overwhelmed you, always, but in the best of the ways. Especially since you had discovered a couple days ago that it wasn’t just in your head. 

Unable to stifle your own giddy smile, you reached up to kiss his lips. It was only meant to be a peck, but he drew you in even before you had the chance to pull back, always eager to taste you, to have you, to kiss you, to cherish you. You galdly gave into the kiss. It was soft and sweet, the way his lips molded around yours, moving in sync. The kiss slowly grew intense, but not heated. It was only filled with love and care, making him unable to put in the conscious effort of letting you go if you were okay with it. 

Instead his strong arms wound around you and brought you to him lap so that you were straddling his thick thighs. His lips moved slow but firm, just taking the time to worship your lips as they deserved to be. One hand tightened around your middle, keeping you secure in his hold while the other drifted down to your butt, his large hands kneading your cheeks gently with utmost care and fondness. You slid your arms up his broad chest and around his neck, holding him close. Smiling in between the kisses, neither of you were able to let go, clinging to each other as none could get enough of the other.

When you finally did let go to breathe in lung fulls of the crisp, cold air, you moved to relieve him of your weight. His arms tightened around you in a slight moment of panic, refusing to dismiss the comfort you brought him just by your touch, your closeness. “Stay, please?” He softly pleaded.

You looked down at the heavy log of wood Bucky sat upon. It was broad enough to sit, but not enough to be comfortable if he kept your weight on himself for long. “Your legs are going to hurt, Bucky”

“Y/N, I don’t know the true limit of the powers the serum gave me, but I think it’s enough to stop a helicopter from taking off. I think I can hold my precious girl without hurting myself.” He smiled at you with the boyish charm and the innocence of a first grader announcing that he got A+ in an assignment.

“Show off,” You chuckled, booping his nose with yours. “But an adorable show off.”

“What?” Bucky quietly, softly muttered, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “I like holding you, hugging you, having you close. That’s all.” Your heart fluttered in your chest, swelling with emotions. The simplicity, the vulnerability with which he admitted favouring your presence made you wonder just how much open and comfortable he was with you. You knew he liked you, trusted you, but it never ceased you from being overwhelmed everytime he expressed it.

Heart brimming with affection for the man in front of you, you didn’t trust yourself not to confess then and there how deeply in love you were with him. Instead you said the only thing you could think of to draw the attention away from your racing heart. “You also like my butt.”

The metal hand tenderly kneading your butt cheek stilled. Hesitance crept in every being of Bucky. He cursed himself, worried he had offended you or made you uncomfortable somehow. What he heard was unassuming, but he didn’t want to take any chances if you didn’t like it. 

Bucky realised that since the day you had agreed to be his girl, he had given an awful amount of attention to your butt. He’d always rest his hands there while cuddling or gently knead the soft muscles as he was doing then. He would never deny that your behind was alluring to him, but his touch wasn’t meant to be demeaning or enticing, at least not until you partook in sexy times. He’d only ever meant for his actions to treasure you, admire you, but he would not do it at the cost of your comfort. 

You caught onto what must have been going inside his head. Bucky meant to draw his hand back and apologise, but you stopped him and quickly added, “I love the attention, honestly.”

“You’re not… offended by it?” Pulling back to look at you, he asked unsurely, making himself look as small as possible.

“Should I be?”

Bucky shook his head, “I like you and I respect you, a lot. You know that, right? I only do it, because…well, what’s there not to like about your butt?” He emphasised it by giving a small squeeze to your soft muscles.

“I believe you,” You chuckled, giving his plump lips a sweet peck.“And I meant it, I love the attention you give it. But why do you like it so much? My ass is so-”

“It’s perfect.” Bucky finished your sentence before you could add in any negative comment about yourself. “You’re perfect, doll.”

“You’re such a charmer.” You mumbled, going for his lips with a wide smile.

“Only for you.” Bucky replied, happy to taste you, feel you. When he pulled back, he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

With the fiery flames warming your back and Bucky’s heated body pressed to your front, you snuggled into him further. Head resting on his broad shoulder, eyes closed, you basked in the comforting embrace, in the heat seeping into your bones. It was your own little heaven.

Feeling the sun on his skin after so many days had felt great. Although he was used to staying in the dark before he was rescued, he didn’t like it one but. It felt good, immensely so. But with you at his side, with him, enveloped in his arms, your touch calming him, anchoring him, everything was better than never before. 

It didn’t take long for Bucky to realise that you had dozed off on his shoulder, your chest tranquilly rising and falling against him. Chuckling, he gripped both the ends of the blanket and curled his arms around you again, the pair of you now cocooned in the heat of the blanket. 

He rested his chin on your shoulder, his head leaning against your, and looked at the dwindling flames in the darkening sky. Nightfall loomed at the corners, impatiently waiting for the sun to complete its descent before it could take over. The lowering temperature was palpable in the chilling air. He knew he would need to carry you inside soon, but he waited for the soothing heat of the fire to die down before he would be forced to retreat inside. 

Looking at the sky in the far distance, Bucky took in the myriad of changing colours with time. He couldn’t help but think about Steve. What Steve would have done if he would have been there. There was no doubt in Bucky’s mind that Steve would have ran inside to look for a pencil and paper with the speed of a cheetah. 

He would have taken down the various shades on the trees and the mountains and the clouds floating above their heads with the monochromatic beauty of grey and created a masterpiece. Bucky smiled, thinking about the concentrated look Steve would have had in his face, brows furrowed as his eyes would have shifted like at a ping pong game between the sky and the paper. He remembered his days in the military camps with his pal, when the newly bulky man still testing his strength would sketch in any free time he got to deal with the stress he felt.

Bucky…missed his childhood friend very much. He didn’t realise when his eyes had moistened when his vision grew blurry.

Not that Sam and you weren’t few of the greatest friends he had had, but Steve was… something else. Steve Grant Rogers was his brother, truly so. 

Everytime Bucky thought about his pal, his Steve, limitless emotions flew through him, all different for different reasons. One of the most lasting ones though was that gratification. Bucky firmly believed he owed his life to Steve for saving him from the torture he had suffered from the hands of HYDRA. Not once, but twice, in Austria and in D.C., when that fool had nearly died instead of fighting him. Steve had also saved him from the governments of the entire freaking world, trusted in him when nobody else did. Steve had fought with his friends of the twenty first century, his only family, for him. The Golden Boy of America preferred his name being dragged through the mud and being counted in the ranks of the criminals he put behind the bars over losing Bucky. Though he knew it wasn’t just for him, Steve had helped resurrect him and all the others when Thanos had snapped them dead. He didn’t know how he could ever repay Steve for all that he had done, for all the sacrifices he had made for Bucky. 

Out of all those plethora of emotions, one of the few which weighted heavily on him was that of regret. For a man who had lived for over a hundred years, Bucky didn’t have the chance to do as many things as he would have liked. Maybe it was because he hadn’t lived as much as he had survived, but he didn’t let that be the base of his excuses. He had meant to do many things right. 

Bucky never thanked his Ma for the man she had raised him to be. He was never there for his sisters when he had promised them he would be. He never properly thanked Steve for saving him time and again. He never thanked Howard for helping Steve save him when he was captured in Austria or for keeping Steve company when he couldn’t. He never got to thank Tony for reversing the snap or apologise to him for all that he had done to his parents, Bucky’s own friends, while in evil’s control.

Bucky had always thought that he would have time; time which he lost partially because he had taken everything for granted, partially because fate had been cruel to him with a vengeance. Life of an Avenger was… unpredictable at the very best. They could be overly cautious, but never fully prepared. Many a times they had to deal with hostage situations or - Bucky still couldn’t get used to believing it - alien invasions without a moment’s notice. 

Bucky had learnt never to take things for granted the hard way. Now that he thought about it, lady luck had never been on his side for long. Everything even remotely good had been taken from him when he thought he had time to enjoy them and bask in their glory. 

He didn’t want it anymore. Bucky didn’t want the guilt weighing him down, knowing he could have done something or said something but didn’t, because he thought fate would be kind enough to give him some time. 

He didn’t want to take chances anymore. 

Glancing down, Bucky saw you napping peacefully on his shoulders, really making him a human pillow. Hot puffs of air fell on his neck through your open lips. His heart fluttered in his chest, mentally cooing at how adorable you looked.

He couldn’t help but think back to the time he had first met you as himself. His metal arm was trapped in a hydraulic press in some abandoned factory. Both Sam and you had pure disbelief on your faces when Steve trusted Bucky enough to believe his every word…just because he could recall Sarah and how Steve wore his shoes. But then you had gotten to know each other, slowly but surely.

It hadn’t been all rainbows and sunshine. The trio of you had had your asses kicked by the spider kid, a literal teenager. You and Sam had been imprisoned in the Raft and had to live a couple years as criminals because you had helped Steve in rescuing him. After Thanos happened, Steve had decided to go on his own journey, leaving Bucky with those who didn’t really know him and neither did he know them.

But efforts were made on both the sides. You and Sam had welcomed him into the Avengers like your own. Sure he had been more open and closer to Sam first, but that hadn’t deterred from trying to befriend him. 

Much like Sam, you had helped him through his night terrors. Been awake with him at odd hours of the night because he couldn’t sleep. Helped him discover himself again. Listened to him when he needed an out without any judgement, or talked for the two of you when he wanted to communicate but couldn’t. Trusted in him when he didn’t even trust himself. Helped him believe in himself and forgive himself. You had helped him recover.

You were with him at the darkest times to guide him to the light, and celebrated with him when he did find his light. There were relapses, but you were with him to help him get back on track. 

You had trusted him enough to let him see your vulnerable spots, to confide in him, to let him take care of you, to let him help you just like you had helped him. You had trusted him enough to let him see you, the real you. 

But most important of all, you had been a friend before anything else. A friend whom he had needed had needed more than anything else.

Feelings had developed along the way, which he was glad for being reciprocated on both sides. The journey to where you and him were now had been a long one. It had never been easy, but it hadn’t affected either of you. 

Bucky never wanted to lose you. He couldn’t ever possibly lose you. You meant too much to him. He also knew he couldn’t dare to think he’d have much time before something akin to Thanos happened again. Being an Avenger guaranteed that nothing was ever guaranteed. Most of all time, in Bucky’s case at least.

Looking at you, Bucky realised he couldn’t not let you know how he truly felt. No matter what your decision might be afterwards, he had to let you know. He wanted to be his own man, making his own decisions. And he wanted to love you, so goddamn much, if you allowed him. His heart beat faster in realisation when he realised what that would mean. It made him nervous, but he was ready.

The risque wasn’t lost on him. He was very well aware that you could run away in the opposite direction, thinking he was going too fast. You could break it off and your friendship wouldn’t be the same again. If you wouldn’t want to speak to him again, you would respect your wishes.

But if there was even the slightest chance that you felt the same, he needed to do it. Because the bliss of having you, being with you and loving you was worth every risk in the world.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Fluff.
> 
> Chapter/Trigger warning: Language? Slow build.
> 
> This chapter has been divided into two chapters because I couldn’t control myself and it turned out to be longer than I expected. Hope you like this part!

It felt different, very much so. He looked different as much as he felt different. Bucky had never thought he’d ever see the man he had only seen in old history books and documentaries and much older family albums. But Bucky looked at him as he stood in front of the mirror. Dirt lined the edges and corners of the mirror. The reflection wasn’t as sharp as it could have been, but his attention was solely concentrated at the centre.

The face Bucky saw, he knew and he recognised it, and it felt familiar in a way he supposed. Yet he felt like he had met the man he saw, for the first time, or rather after a very, very long time. 

Bucky raised his hand and so did the man in front of him. The man Bucky staring at Bucky glided his fingers over his ever-growing scruff and Bucky felt the short hair scratch his calloused skin. The man in the reflection was familiar and yet not so much. The man staring back at him had Bucky’s face with his sharp features, his ocean grey eyes, his nose, his plump lips, and just about everything else which made Bucky look like Bucky.

The hair though…

It felt different, very much so, but it was a good kind of different, one he was very much in need of. Yes he’d mourn the length of his hair lost, and him taking care of his hair like he had since he’d been free, and yes he’d miss your fingers running through his locks, turning and twisting them into pretty braids or updos because Wanda never let you play with hers. He would miss the pads of your fingers tugging at his locks, sometimes just for the fun of it, or when he’d take you apart on his mouth and his fingers.

He knew he would miss it. He would miss a multitude of things about his hair being cut short. He’d miss their weight resting against his shoulders and weight of his man-bun at the back of his head -hell, he was already missing it-, the feel of them covering his ears and the curtain of security he hid himself behind. He knew he wouldn’t miss the plethora of lost hair ties which even the Winter Soldier couldn’t keep a track of, but he would miss the familiarity of wearing a spare on his wrist. 

But Bucky couldn’t deny it felt weird too. Had…had his ears always looked so large? No, they hadn’t seemed so whenever he had his hair tied or in a bun. If he looked closely, his jawline didn’t seem the same either. It was sharp and curved at all the angles it had been the previous day, but there was something that just _felt_ different that he couldn’t pin-point.

Maybe it was the spiky, cropped hair just above his ear, or how fluffy his crown seemed now that it wasn’t weighted down by his longer locks, or the feel of nothing shrouding the back of his neck, or the lack of a dark backdrop of his hair behind his neck when he didn’t have it tied, or the feel of his hair _not_ tucked behind his ears, or the knowledge that he won’t ever feel it again, not for a long time at least. 

Yet he didn’t regret it. At all. It was something he had decided to do himself, completely on his own, without any input - be it passive or aggressive - from any other living being. It was his choice, his decision and his own. It was his time to…not start over per say, but to do what he wanted, what he thought was right. He had spent so long at the whim of others, made to slave away for their sole advantage. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life slaving to unsurety, cowering behind the fear of what might happen.

It was also refreshing, looking at a new himself. He never thought scissoring off his locks would change his looks so much. He had known it at the back of his head perhaps, but he never expected it to be so true.

He couldn’t help but stare at himself, his head turning this way and that, slowly, carefully taking in all his new angles he now saw in a new light. His hand raised to glide through his hair. Such short strands would feel weird for some time he mused, but he’d make it through the first few days without any complaints. 

His lips parted in a fake smile, just to test how different expressions would look on his face with his hair cropped and fluffy. The fake smile soon turned into a bashful grin. He didn’t know what he expected; his hair length had changed, not really the planes of his face. 

His eyes caught you in the mirror, your form tangled in the sheets he had left warm, asleep blissfully, hugging the pillow he had been using close to your body. What would you think of his decision? What if you didn’t like it? What if you preferred his long locks only? Would you be…angry with him?

No, his heart corrected him in that instant. No, you would not. You’d never be angry with him for taking care of or making decisions for his own self. You’d in fact berate him for even letting such self depriving thoughts enter his mind. He chuckled. You really were an angel to him.

His legs carried him to the bed, to you. He laid down on his side very gently so as to not disturb you as you slept on your side. Drawing the covers over himself, his hands curled around your middle as he pulled himself closer to you, his front flush against your back. Dainty lips deftly kissed your clothed shoulder, slowly making their way to the hollow of your neck and above. His lips brushed every curve of your skin along the way.

You were woken up by soft warm kisses being peppered on your cheek. Bucky’s scruff grazed your neck, making the sensitive skin there tingle. You giggled at the stimulation, your body sinking into the heat of his embrace. Sensing you wake up, he doubled his efforts to shower you with affection. Had you been awake, you would have wondered why the ends of his locks were not brushing your skin, but that was too much thinking for your sleep dazed mind as your eyes remained closed. You only focused on his lips smiling against your skin. 

“Morning, baby doll.” Bucky said, landing another kiss behind your ear, successfully making you purr.

“Morning, Bucky,” You cuddled closer into him. “Isn’t someone really happy this morning?" 

"Every moment with you is a happy moment, Y/N.”

You smiled bright and wide, “Oh, aren’t you such a romantic?” Opening your eyes, you turned on your back to look at Bucky. 

Your body stiffened and a loud gasp left your lips at the sight. It made you pull back instantly. You almost didn’t recognise him for a second, your body already ready to fight the supposedly unknown man in your bed; in Bucky’s place. Upon closer inspection though, your panic stricken, overworking mind realised that it was none other than Bucky, just as he had always been. Except for the hair.

It had only taken a handful of seconds, but they were enough to send Bucky into a panic blackhole of his own. That was it. That was exactly the reaction he had been fearing. You didn’t like his cut short. You wouldn’t want him now. How was he even going to progress with his plan if that was the case? Would you-

Fingers raked through the side of his head, slow and hesitant, exploring the cropped hair. He looked at your eyes, that were wide not with anger as he thought but with disbelief. 

Your fingers reached the back of his head to find the hair there just as short. You couldn’t believe it, truly. It felt weird in a way…new if you had to use another for it, how you didn’t feel the slight weight of his locks as you combed through it. It felt even more… different to look at the man, the legend you had read about in school alongside the first Captain America in front of you. 

A soft “Bucky…” left your lips, your gaze bouncing around his face. You had known it was the same man all along, but now with his hair style nearly the same as he had back in the day, the similarities were even more emphasised. He looked every bit _Sergeant Bucky Barnes of the Howling Commandos_. The only difference were the hard planes of his that made him look much older, not because he was over a hundred years old, - ok, probably that too - but because of all the things he had seen, suffered through, survived and overcome in his unbelievably long life. “…wow!”

“You like it?” Bucky asked shyly, biting his lips nervously. His eyes squinted slightly as he awaited your reply.

“Like it?” You scoffed, your hand cupping his handsome face, “I love it, Bucky!” You pulled his down for a quick peck to his lips. “You look so good. Not that you didn’t before. I mean, you still do look so breathtaking. It’s just a new look that I never thought I’d see on you and I was surprised for a second, that’s it. But I love this look just as much, really-”

“Y/N,” Bucky called your name, chuckling. When you realised you were rambling, it was your turn to be bashful.

“It’s just…I don’t know what prompted it, but… it’s a good change. And I’m happy you decided to do it, whatever your reason is.” Bucky grinned, knowing he had predicted right. You really were an angel to him, supportive as always. 

His hand cupped the back of your hand which cradled his face. “There’s something else I gotta tell you.” He said, his face morphing into one full of seriousness. 

You sat up, your back resting against the headboard, giving him your full attention. Your hand fell down from his face, atop the bunched covers on your lap. Bucky sat up straight too, criss crossing his legs on your side. “I’m listening.”

It was a thing you did ever since you had started being friends, during late night conversations - or any time of the day when you two were alone. It had been a way of bringing Bucky out of his shell, especially when he didn’t know, or rather had forgotten how to truly express what he felt. You started it on Sam’s suggestion. You’d ask Bucky about his day, what made him feel sad or happy or any other emotions. If he wouldn’t speak, you’d start talking about your day. He’d talk to you about other things, but he never did say how he felt.

You thought part of the reason was his upbringing in the early twentieth century, when boys were taught not to express much except bravado and anger. Part of it might have been because none had asked him that, or let him be himself for seventy fucking years. He did have a therapist to talk to, sure, but he needed a friend as well. You and Sam were there for him then.

He hadn’t talked about his feelings in the first few weeks. You’d ask him to share and if he wouldn’t, you’d share yours. Although he wouldn’t talk, he was a great listener. He’d laugh along with you at your funny incidences and give you a shoulder to rely on after a rough day. He’d be angry along with you at the writers for being unjust to your favourite character and celebrate with you because the sweet intern in the PR team finally got herself a chance with the girl she had been dreaming about day and night. He’d do much more but it had taken sometime for him to openly talk about his feelings.

The first time that he did, he had quietly mentioned how his heart had been heavy after watching the Toy Story saga, and yet he couldn’t stop himself from binging it again and again. He told you how bad he wished his sisters could have seen those movies with him. 

_“There’s something else I gotta tell you."_

The next day he told you he liked watching cat videos after Peter the spiderling had taught him the various features of instagram. 

_"There’s something else I gotta tell you."_

Another day he told you how he absolutely loved messing with Sam, because he somewhat reminded him of Steve. 

Days on which he’d tell you about how he felt regarding one thing or the other kept piling up, upto the point where you didn’t have to coax it out of him. He’d either tell you himself, or would place it in normal day to day conversations. It wasn’t always easy, but he had always tried. 

Deducing from his face, you concluded he had to talk about something similar right then. It had to be something important if he was saying the same line in the same tone again. You were all ears for him, for whatever he had to say. 

His hands took both of your palms in his warm hold, his eyes set onto them. He meant to say the words, but nothing came out of his mouth. He had been so sure of himself, of what he wanted to do a few moments earlier but ironically, he was a mess of nerves now that the time had come. 

A hundred different ways to start developed in his brain, but he couldn’t choose anyone. More like he didn’t know how to. Not like he had done this before. 

Sensing his hesitation, you cradled his cheek once again, lifting his head to meet your eyes. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" 

Bucky couldn’t move his head or nod, for he was solely on your eyes, full of adoration and patience. He did hear you and wanted to nod, but only thoughts about how much he cared for you overtook his brain. He may have moved his head in the slightest, which wasn’t even enough of a nod to be noticed by you.

"You don’t have to tell me right now if you’re uncomfortable.” You continued, “It’s okay. You can tell me whenever you want to. We have all the time in the world. I’ll always be there for you.”

How could he not love you?

Bucky smiled, though it still betrayed how nervous he was. He took your hands back in his and brought them to his lips, kissing your knuckles soft and long. If he had to do it, if he had to say it, he needed to do it right then, he decided. There was no backing out. He would not let himself cower this time. 

He didn’t want to hide his feelings from you or anyone else any longer. He wanted you to know how deeply he felt for you. If you did love him as he did you, that’d be the best thing to happen to him. But if you didn’t, he’d accept it and respect your wishes, and comply on however you’d want to proceed. But he couldn’t not let you know how loved you were, how deserving you were of everything at its best. He couldn’t delay the chance to truly love and cherish you. And so he did.

“I love you.”

A moment or two passed. Perhaps more, but you didn’t know. How could you, when you were sure your brain had finally bowed down in front of your daylight fantasies and short circuited? For how else could you have heard the man you loved say that he loved you too? Impossible. You were sure your mind was playing tricks on you. That or you were dreaming, again. But it felt so real, too real. In your confused, utterly dumbfounded state, you said the only thing you were capable of.

“What?”

Again, Bucky wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it sure wasn’t that. He realised that he did catch you off guard. Had he been in your place, perhaps he may have reacted that way too. He simply repeated himself.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Bucky took a deep breath, his chest shuddering from how nervous he still felt. “It’s not a spur of the moment realisation, I swear. It’s been that way for a while now. I've…” He smiled, “I’ve loved you since a long time, doll. I only realised it a few days ago. You might think it’s because it’s been only for nearly a week now, so that’s the reason how I feel what I feel for you. But I assure you, that’s not the case. You were my friend first and foremost, and I am glad I had someone like you at the lowest of my points to pull me up and help me come out of those dark days. And you still do, Y/N. Baby, I love you so fucking much, I…”

Bucky kept rambling, and you would have honestly chuckled if you hadn’t been staring at him open mouthed. So it wasn’t a dream. You had heard him the first time perfectly. So he did return your affections. So he did love you, as you did love him. He had repeated himself and you had heard him the second time too, but it still felt unreal, unbelievable. Your heart was pounding hard in the captivity of your ribcage, begging your mind to act on the joy the news brought to you. But you sat there, unable to move, replaying those words over and over again to let your mind register it, while Bucky kept on rambling in a nervous streak.

He was silenced by your lips crashing on his in an instant. It wasn’t soft like your usual morning kisses. It had sort of an urgency to it. Your lips moved slow but hard against his, punctuating each fleeting second by the loud smacks of your lips and the low hum generating in your throat. Your palms traversed to his face, cradling his face quite firmly, as if afraid he’d disappear if you wouldn’t. Your heart took control of all your actions as your brain shut down, too busy in Bucky’s lips dancing with yours to care about anything else.

You raised on your knees, leaning into him. Bucky grasped your middle in his large hands, roughly pulling down your body into his lap. One hand moved to support your back while the other remained at your waist. 

It was you who had initiated the kiss, but Bucky was the one controlling it now. You happily gave into his demands, your arms curling around his neck. You kissed him with a fervor that shouldn’t have been possible for a person who had just woken up, but Bucky received them eagerly and reciprocated your kisses just as enthusiastically. After what felt like an eternity had passed, Bucky softly pulled back.

Your eyes which had closed if their own accord opened slowly, only to find Bucky gazing at you. Perhaps he might have understood what the kiss meant, but he needed a verbal confirmation, one which you were happy to provide.

“I love you.”

Your hoarse voice whispered. Just like you thought, Bucky had the same reaction as you. He heard what you said, understood it too, but his mind needed a moment to register it too. You, on the other hand, were over the momentary shock. Bubbles of happiness burst inside you and you couldn’t control yourself from pulling down Bucky, connecting his lips to yours again.

Bucky responded in kind, unable to to resist you. The kiss was a weird mix of soft and hard at times, something just like you and Bucky. You couldn’t usually get enough of this man, but something about the confession, about knowing that he loved you just as hard too, it somehow made you want him more.

Bucky loved kissing you and doing all sorts of other things to you which was severely inappropriate for certain age groups. Hell, he loved everything about you - he loved you! He’d never not kiss you when he had the chance, but the man had to reluctantly pull back and ask, “You do?”

Big ocean grey eyes stared into yours, looking for the slightest bit of confirmation. Bucky Barnes put his vulnerability in your hands, empowering you to either preserve it or crush it. The decision laid in your hands.

But you didn’t need to decide something which was already pre-decided. Ever since he’d been your friend, ever since you’d decided you’d loved him, ever since he’d decided to trust you, to show you his vulnerable parts and his hardships, you’d sworn time and again to preserve any and all parts of himself that he gave or showed you, and keep them safe from the evils of the world or die doing so.

Now that he was giving you a part of his heart, a part that belonged solely and completely to you, you’d gently hold it with love and care, protect it and treasure it, keeping it close to you. You’d do his decision justice of trusting you with such a crucial part of himself. It’ll be a bigger responsibility, one one that you’d accept with wipe open arms and embrace it lovingly.

You’d give a part of your heart solely and completely to him too, a part that only he was deserving of. For you somehow knew there would be no other man who would love you as he would, who would trust you and trust in you like he would. Bucky Barnes was the only man for you, and will forever be the only man for you.

“You don’t have to say anything just because I did.” Bucky mistook the lack of conversation for something else and continued talking. “Or not right away, if you don’t want to. I’d accept whatever your reply would be, really. I’d respect your wishes, no matter what you say.”

Bucky’s eyes still bore into yours, patiently awaiting your answer. You smiled, your fingers brushing the short hair on the side of his head.

“Then accept this. I love you so much, Bucky Barnes. So fucking much.”

You pulled him down to softly peck his lips. Bucky didn’t move his forehead away from yours, his hand gently stroking the back of your neck. His eyes were shut, soaking every word you said in his bones.

“I’ve loved for so long too, Bucky. But I couldn’t tell you, I didn’t know hot to. I didn’t want to scare you off by moving things too fast. I didn’t want to lose you. But it was getting harder and harder each day; being with you but not being able to love you the way you should be loved.”

His nervous face gradually broke into a grin. Bucky chuckled softly, “Doll, there’s nothing you could do that would be enough to scare me away. You’re stuck with me.”

“Am I now?” You inquired in a tone just as playful. “Well, I’d rather be stuck with you than be away with you any longer.”

“Who’s the charmer now?” Bucky said, pulling back his amused face to look at you properly.

“Learnt from the best.” You said with a grin.

Bucky leaned down to kiss you again, because why not? His heart was brimming with joy as his nerves sang loudly. He kissed you lovingly and passionately, happy to call you his lover. He had been such a lucky bastard, Bucky realised, to not only have you process his feelings so well but reciprocate them too. Could anyone have been more luckier than him? 

His lips moved expertly against yours, his tongue sweeping over your lower lip. Not wasting any time, his tongue clashed with yours as soon as you gave him permission. The kiss grew hot and heated gradually. His hands moved up and down your sides, warming up your body with just his touch. Need and want for something more slowly made its way to you, entrapping the pair of you in its hold. A heavy dose of lust mixed with your abundance of love.

You could feel his member growing half hard beneath you. You shifted yourself to spread your legs around his torso, straddling him. Bucky’s metal arm automatically dropped down to your butt, encouraging the slow grinds you had begun. Nothing about the way you kissed seemed innocent now.

Bucky knew what would entail next, as the same had been happening for a few days. But this time, he wanted something more if you agreed to it. He trusted you, no doubt, but now he was ready. He was ready to give himself to you completely, without any restraints or reservations. He wanted you to have him as much as he wanted to have you. He didn’t only want to love you, he wanted to make love to you too. So fucking much.

He never thought he’d open that part of him to anyone, but you weren’t just anyone. You were his Y/N, his doll, his friend, his lover. He’d trust you with everything and beyond. 

He gently pulled back only enough to speak properly, his forehead touching yours. Inhaling deeply, he said, “I’m ready to go all the way with you.”


	10. Final Chapter ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Fluff. Pure smut. soft!smut. soft!Bucky.
> 
> Chapter/Trigger warning: Smut. 18+ only please. Language. Unprotected sex (this is fanfiction. Please be safe in reality). Slight breeding kink if you squint like really really hard.

“You sure, Bucky?” You asked, fingers scratching the nape of his neck. “We can wait for as long as you need.”

Bucky encircled his metal hand around your palm and brought it to his lips, kissing it. “I’m ready Y/N.”

You nodded. “If you need to slow down or simply stop at any moment, just say so, alright?”

Bucky smiled. He didn’t doubt for a moment that you wouldn’t slow down or stop if he asked too. “Of course. You too, Y/N.”

Leaning forward, Bucky captured your lips with his. Kissing softly but insistently, he curved his arms around you once again. One hand stroked your back while the other caressed your thighs. He desperately hoped that it wasn’t a dream. That this wasn’t a figment of his imagination which only felt real. Bucky pulled back but kept your foreheads touching.

“Say it again. _Please_ ," 

His eyes were closed. All of his attention was solely focused on his hearing, wishing to only listen to those words in your voice, directed only to him.

"I love you.” You pulled back only enough to kiss Bucky on his forehead. 

“Again.”

“I love you.” You kissed both of his closed eyes one by one. The creases on his forehead were gone. His eyes were still closed, not from anticipation but in comfort.

“Again.”

“I love you, James Buchanan Barnes.” You pressed kisses all over his cheek unhurriedly. Bucky further relaxed into your touch. His lips slowly widened into a grin as he opened his eyes. You could see his mind registering the words for a second time, confirming that none of it was a measly dream. That all of it was now his reality.

“You do?” He titled his head as he softly asked.

His contagious enthusiasm took you in its hold too, you face breaking into a grin as wide as his. “Mhmm. A lot.”

Bucky touched your noses and sighed in content, “I love you too, Y/N.”

Your heart gave a flutter. You were sure no matter how much time passed, you would always have the same reaction to him saying those words to you. You didn’t get much time to dwell on that thought though. Drawing your lips in a luscious kiss, Bucky tightened his arms around you, securing you in his hold.

A tentative lick on your bottom lip and you opened your mouth. The strong wet muscle of his tongue played with yours. Sliding over, stroking, circling the tip of your tongue, tempting it to dance to the song of love and pleasure with him. His metal hand kneaded the cheek of your butt, guiding the salacious grind of your hips on his. 

Keeping you tight and close to himself, he slowly lowered you on your back, adjusting until a pillow was secured under your head. Your body was trapped in between his broad form and the bed. There was no place else you’d rather be. One of his muscular arms was balancing his body mass beside your head; he was careful not to put all of his weight on you. You loved feeling him on top of you, craved feeling his body covering yours, shielding it from everything and everyone except himself.

The warm amber from the fireplace casted a honey-suckle glow in the atmosphere, covering everything it touched in its golden glaze. The conflagrant flames shimmied inside the brick structure with the same tranquility which had settled over the pair of souls lost in each other’s love. Unforgiving, biting cold winds roared outside the huge windows, whizzing past the cabin and leaving rattling sounds in the background in its wake. But it couldn’t penetrate the bubble the lovers had wrapped themselves in. As far as they were concerned, it was only them, their hands, their kisses, their love, the bed and the warmth surrounding them that mattered.

It felt nothing short of lovely, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he kissed you lovingly. Your arms were curled around his shoulders, keeping the sweet super soldier close to you. Every time your fingers scratched the short hair at the nape of his neck, the burly man would almost purr in your mouth in ecstasy. His love and warmth seeped deep into your bones, warming you up from the inside.

One of his hands caught the hem of your thick sweater, lazily pulling it up and off your body. You helped him get rid of his layers too, mentally drooling as his sexy body was revealed to you bit by bit. 

As Bucky made to push the oversized undershirt off you, the last of the clothing which hid your top half from his gaze, he slid down your body until his face rested on the round of your stomach. His lips pressed long warm kisses on every inch of your unveiled skin as he pushed the flimsy material up your body with a slow drag of his hands.

His eyes connected with yours confidently as kissed your middle and proceeded upwards. Your eyes followed his movements with a heated gaze, your chest rising and falling with the deep breaths you had to intake so as to not lose yourself completely into temptation. 

After a few long moments he finally reached your breasts, his hands pushing the cloth over the sexy swell of them. His lips pressed similar long kisses all over them, purposefully avoiding giving attention to the one specific place you needed it the most. There was a teasing glint in his eyes. He sucked the delicate skin as his lips roamed over it, but never once did he pay any heed to your hardened peaks.

His kisses trailed to the valley of your breasts and soon his face was burried in between them. He kissed your sternum before resting his head sideways on your swells. His large palms cupped your breasts, gently fondling and squeezing them. He loved the softness and the weight of your breasts in his palms. He started kissing around your cleavage, his lips still teasing in their stride. 

Clutching his hair you tugged at it, trying to direct his head towards your peaks. With a low moan lost on your skin, Bucky finally took a nipple in the moist heat of his mouth. Ecstasy filled your veins when his tongue made contact with it, the cool wetness of his tongue soothing the painfully hard nipple. 

His tongue went round and round around the bud, coating it in its wetness. Bucky lightly sucked on it, making you arch your back to push yourself further into his mouth. The tip of his tongue played skillfully with it. He loved your taste on his tongue. The other half of your body wasn’t forgotten. Bucky gently rolled your other peak with his fingers, tenderly pressing it only enough to make you feel good. You shut your eyes tight at the feel, basking in the pleasure his simple touches sent through you.

Not much later, the undershirt was soon lifted off your form. Bucky and you proceeded to get you out of your respective sweats. It only resulted in a huge mess of entangled blankets and legs and bottoms which refused to let go of your ankles. Chuckles fleeted in the quiet room as you and Bucky overcame the few seconds of inconvenience. Bucky didn’t waste anymore time and picked up right where he had left off.

Trailing slow, affectionate kisses from your chest to your abdomen, Bucky gave a quick peck to your tummy and settled himself in between your legs. He couldn’t not rain down small kisses on the insides of your thighs as he hooked your legs on his shoulders, all the while keeping a sensuous eye contact with you. 

His broad tongue lapped a long trail from your slit to your clit until it caught your bundle of nerves. His tongue rolled around the sensitive pearl, sending blazing sensations down your nerves.

The taste of your arousal was something forever delicious to Bucky. He couldn’t get enough of it. His tongue toyed with your clit while his fingers collected some of your slick and gathered in front of your entrance. The rough pad of his finger massaged your entrance in short strokes but never entered you.

It took you a while to realize that Bucky loved teasing. He loved watching you keening for his touch, hearing your whimpers, knowing that you needed him to satiate your desires, to exploit you the way you needed to be. You didn’t know if that turned you on more or frustrated you.

He sucked on your clit, but still didn’t relent, his fingers still teasing your entrance. You needed him inside you. Bucky knew that too, but he wanted to tease you some more.

“Bucky…” you mewled, tugging at his hair to signal that you needed him to move. That seemed to do the trick, because with a hearty groan Bucky plunged one finger inside your core. Perhaps tugging at his hair was his weak point, you concluded from then and previous experiences.

Bucky was careful to start slow, wanting to make you wet enough to enjoy it. His finger pummeled into you leisurely, giving your insides a taste of what was to come. Not sooner than later he carefully inserted a second digit when he thought you were wet enough.

You keened at the stretch, liking how his large fingers filled you. His pace increased as he continued to bring pleasure to you. His warm tongue pressed against your clit, swirling it this way and that. He paused every so often to lap your arousal from your drenched pussy greedily.

Bucky loved the moans that fell out of your mouth. It boosted his ego to know that he was the one to make you mewl needily. They were a melody to his ears in the truest fashion. The thought of drawing out those moans from you when he would impale you on his cock sent a rush of blood to his hardening member constrained painfully in his pants.

Hungry to taste more, feel more, Bucky doubled his efforts. His fingers inside you curled in the angle that he knew would make you see stars. His tongue, strong and wet, worked your bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pressure and pace you needed to come undone. He moaned along with you, his vibrations sending waves of pleasure through you.

Your back arched off the bed, your moans growing in volume. Fingers grasped his hair tightly as you pushed his head closer to you, grinding your core against his face shamelessly. Your release was near and you were eager to claim it. 

With eyes tightly shut and a lewd groan of his name, you were finally pushed over the edge. Your orgasm came crashing down, rolling through you in waves. Your legs on Bucky’s shoulder tightened, heels digging into his back and thighs nearly clenching his head. Bucky wouldn’t have had it any other way. He didn’t stop, letting the sensations he gave you prolong your pleasure as much as he could. 

When the waves rolling through you seemed to subside, Bucky let go of your legs and sat back on his knees, smiling gleefully. Your wetness shone on his lips and around his mouth, but he didn’t give a damn. He climbed on the bed and over your form, admiring the blissed out expression on your face.

You opened your eyes when his fingers tucked the stray strands of hair behind your ear. “It was lovely, Bucky,” you said breathlessly.

He licked his lips, his smile widening, “I’m glad you enjoyed it, doll.”

Pushing his chest you rolled him over, making him lay on his back. You said with a smirk. “It’s your turn to have some fun." 

With a quick peck to his lips, you slid down the bed and between his spread legs. Your palms rubbed his thighs as you balanced yourself on your knees.

Bucky groaned with need when you pulled down his pants and his cock bobbed in front of your face. It was thick and heavy and leaked a few drops of precum. 

You licked your lips at the sight, thirsty only for him. A sharp breath left him when you took his thick base in your hand. Adding a little wetness to your palms, you stroked him slowly at first. It was enough to itch the desire, but not enough to satisfy. It was evident on his face.

You wanted to tease him as he had teased you. You kept the pace slow with both your hands stimulating him, adding a bit more wetness every now and then. Bits of his precum dribbled down his head and fell on your fingers that were curled around him. Oh, he was excited alright.

Raising on your knees, you didn’t give him the time to anticipate your move when you pressed a long wet kiss to the little slit on his head. His hand shot forward to your head instinctively, grasping your hair tightly. He applied the littlest amount of pressure, but you relented, the need to taste him far greater than watching him suffer a little longer.

Bucky let out a loud moan as the heat of your mouth enveloped his painfully hard length. Your tongue came to his aid, soothing the pain away as you licked him. He didn’t know whether to push your head or pull it when your tongue swirled around his sensitive head, paying special attention to his slit. You liked feeling him withering as you rained down overwhelming sensations on his bulbous head. 

"Y/N, fuck-” Bucky groaned, his eyes shutting tight in bliss. You inwardly grinned. 

Leaving his head for the moment, you let his cock out of your mouth with a pop. Your tongue traced the veins protruding on his length, tilting your head this way and that to get all the angles. Bucky sighed in ecstasy. 

Few moments later you took him back inside your mouth, bobbing your head up and down his cock. You took him as far as you could, your palm stroking the rest of him. His cock was heavy on your tongue and you absolutely loved it.

You hollowed in your cheeks soon. Judging by the breathy moan that left Bucky, he enjoyed it a lot. You flicked your wrist as you stroked him, gripping his length a tad more tightly.

His cock hit the back of your throat every now and then as you tried to take him deeper than the last time, small gagging noises escaping your throat. You moaned when his hold tightened on your hair. The vibrations sent Bucky afloat. You fondled his balls with your hand, rolling them in your palm and tugging them slightly. He moaned deliciously. 

Bucky wondered that if the heat of your mouth felt so wonderful, how good would the heat of your pussy feel wrapped around his cock? He couldn’t help but groan at the imagination, his member growing somewhat harder inside your mouth. 

Your ministrations brought him to the brink of an orgasm. It wasn’t long before he was tipped over the edge with the sinful play of your hands and mouth. He tried to warn you that he was about to cum. You took him out of your mouth but kept his head inside, your lips sealing around it. He groaned hoarsely as he released on your tongue, his bittersweet taste filling overtaking your tastebuds.

When his orgasm had passed, you gently let him go. Climbing the bed, you laid beside him. Turning his head, he panted heavily as he said, “That was - breathtaking, doll,”

You grinned at the appreciation, your hands automatically finding their place in the crook of his neck, “And you were delicious.” You made a show of licking your lips with hooded eyes.

Chuckling, Bucky rolled over you, instantly taking your lips in a heated kiss. He didn’t need to ask for permission this time as your tongue chased his instead and played with it. It was an enticing mess of dancing lips and clashing teeth and playful tongues. Bucky’s length hadn’t gone completely soft yet, laying half hard against your thigh. Though it didn’t take long before he was fully hard again. 

When you broke away, you found his ocean grey eyes looking into you. “Are you ready?” He asked.

You couldn’t do anything else but nod. “I am, Bucky. Are you?” You asked without any hint of judgement in your voice. Your hand stroked his cheek, “We can stop anytime you want. Anytime. I stand by it. I won’t be mad at all, I promise. We have all the time in the world for you to be comfortable, Bucky.”

Bucky’s heart thumped hard in the confines of his ribcage at the thought of what was to come. It made him equal parts nervous and excited. He was ready, he didn’t doubt that. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t an important step in your relationship. It had also been so long for him, he worried about not disappointing you. 

He tried not to think anymore and only concentrate on the moment he was in. It was only him and you on the bed, in the same place he and you had confessed to each other, about to make love for the first time. It made him completely vulnerable in a wholly different manner, but he trusted you and you trusted him. You loved him and he loved you. It was all that mattered.

Bucky nodded, giving you a sweet kiss. “I’m ready." 

Gripping his base, Bucky stroked his cock a handful of times before lining it up with your center. He rubbed his cock through your folds, collecting your slick and coating himself in it. Foreheads touching, Bucky breathed hard in anticipation before taking the final step.

With a shuddering breath, he directed himself inside you. The blunt head of his cock entered you slowly. Hands tightening around his shoulders, you burried your head in the crook of his neck with a gasp, your eyes shut tight.

"Are you okay?” Bucky asked, worried about your reaction.

Despite the nakedness and your past actions, your cheeks flushed for a different reason. “It’s been a while for me too, Bucky. I just wasn’t expecting you to be…so thick. But I’m good, I promise. Please, _please_ continue.”

Oh lord, was he thick in the truest sense. You had known he was girthy, but you never thought he’d stretch you so good and make you feel so full, that too only with his head. You keened thinking about what all of him would feel inside you. You unknowingly clenched around him.

Bucky buried his head in your neck too, your tightness overwhelming him. Hot puffs of air hit your ear. His hands stayed by your head. One of his palms tenderly stroked your hair in a comforting manner, in a way calming himself too.

Inch by inch he gradually worked himself in. “Fuck- feels so good,” He let out a broken moan as your heat enveloped him, involuntarily clenching him from time to time. Being inside you felt heavenly. 

Gradually Bucky was seated fully inside you, your pussy engulfing his cock wholly. “Ah, Bucky, fuck,” The feel of his thick cock stretching your walls and filling you to the hilt was glorious.

“Relax baby,” Bucky soothingly whispered in your ear. He slowly rolled his hips to get you accustomed to his girth. Listening to his advice, you took in deep breaths to calm yourself mentally. Automatically your body followed suit, your walls relaxing around him. Bucky was thankful for it, or else he knew he would have come much sooner than he initially thought he would.

“Move, Bucky,” you pleaded. 

Bucky drew back, slowly entering your again and then repeating. The pace was set slow as he simply enjoyed the feeling of you surrounding him.

Soft moans and whimpers left you and him in the quiet of the cabin. It felt nothing short of amazing, the drag of his hard cock against your sensitive spots. The throbbing of the veins on his cock could be felt against your walls, the combination of it all sending your senses dancing.

It was lovely to say the least, his body covering yours, his bare skin brushing against your own as he rocked into you leisurely. He laid in between your spread legs, balanced on his forearms by your head. A part of his body was leaning on you, his weight on your form grounding you to him. 

Bucky pressed a long, loving kiss to your forehead. The moment was nothing short of magical to say the least. He was the closest he could get to you, both mentally and physically. Your bodies were conjoined as he made sweet love to you. 

With the eager desperation satiated with your first orgasms, reaching the end was lost in the back of your minds. You and Bucky only wanted to focus on the journey instead, simply feeling each other and the love you shared. 

He was in love with the entirety of your existence.

He rocked into you with the same leisurely pace as before, relishing in the feels as he felt one and the same with you. His lips littered kisses down your face, starting with your closed eyelids, down your cheeks and to your lips. 

The kiss was slow and soft, filled to the brim with love and affection. Bucky smiled into the kiss, his heart immensely happy to be totally and completely free and open with you. He didn’t need to downplay or hide his true feelings any longer. He could kiss your pretty lips when he wanted, he could love you when he wanted, shower you with affection when he wanted. Along with all that, he would also receive your love without any limitations. What was not to love about this change in your relationship?

You smiled along with him, loving that softness he treated you with. You knew he could be rough when you needed him to be, and it was the best part, that you and him could adjust somewhat easily to each other’s needs as and when required. 

His plump lips kissed you just like his thrusts, slow but immensely passionate. It was sensual and sensational. You knew you would remember this moment forever. It would be framed in your brain just as it was, beautiful and irreplaceable, being replayed again and again, touching all the soft corners of your heart.

His lips moved down to your neck, littering soft kisses all over your skin. You craned your neck to give him more space. Seeking the sensitive spot below your ear, sucking and nipping at the delicate skin, he left his mark all over you. His lips travelled down to your clavicle, giving it the same affectionate treatment. You moaned at the sensations rolling through you.

While his lips adorned your neck with kisses and hickeys, his hands roamed every nook and cranny of your body lovingly, caressing you. Occasionally, his palms would cup your breasts, fondling the round swells and squeezing them delicately. It felt exquisite. His touch ignited you from the inside, leaving a warmth in its wake, brandishing your skin with his deep love, leaving only his name to be moaned on your lips.

Your fingers were entangled in the mess of short hair at the back of his head, raking through the strands. Bucky purred into your skin, feeling elated. 

His hands sought yours, wanting every inch of his skin to be flush with yours. In the manner of a passionate lover, his fingers intertwined with yours, your hands fitting into each other as if they were meant to be from the beginning. He brought your conjoined hands up, beside your head. A little more of his weight was leaning onto you now, and you loved every second of it. 

Nothing could have been more perfect in that moment. The two of you were drunk on each other. The atmosphere smelled of sex and tasted of adoration. His naked body moved along with yours in harmony brushing every inch of bare skin. A bubble of love and trust, of peace and bliss wrapped the pair of you in it’s lush, protective hold. Bucky thrust into you passionately, not just to attain the sweet release of the end but to enjoy the journey along with you, to sear the moment in your memories, to cherish and treasure you as you deserved to be. It was a perfect combination of love and lust.

You didn’t know for how long you continued like that. All that mattered was you had enjoyed it with him. 

His thrusts gradually gained some speed. Soon he was pummeling into you harder than before, touching all those spots inside you which made your nerves sing. He didn’t go as hard or fast as he could have, but enough to itch the desire within you.

“Just like that, Bucky…” you moaned.

Bucky complied by grinding his hips into yours, his pubic bone providing the perfect stimulation for your bundle of nerves. Moans left him as well when he felt you clenching his cock. It only made him rock into you harder.

“You’re - ah - make me gonna cum, doll.” He said. He was sure his precum was already leaking inside you.

“Then let go, Bucky. Cum inside me.”

You might as well have given him a heart stroke then and there.

With choked moans, Bucky focused on holding out, determined to make you come before him. He increased his efforts until he had brought you to the brink of your orgasm. Your pussy was clenching his cock so tightly, he understood you were close to your edge. He made himself keep going until he tipped you over the edge.

Your orgasm came crashing down on you in powerful waves. Jagged breaths left you along with sinful moans of Bucky’s name.

As your walls pulsated around Bucky, he couldn’t hold back any longer. With a hoarse cry of your name, Bucky came inside you.

He wasn’t yet done with you though. 

One of his hands coursed down your body until he found your clit. He massaged your bundle of nerves to pleasure you while not letting the desire die down. Rolling the pearl between his fingers, he never let his pace falter but only increased it substantially.

His cock was still hard inside you. Not as hard as before, but enough to make it work. Balancing himself on his knees, Bucky wrapped your legs around his waist before pummeling into you with abandon. 

“Bucky, yes!” You moaned, your blood rushing inside your veins with pleasure.

A carnal desire overtook him, invoking a similar response in you. Your hips lifted of their own accord to meet his hips thrust for thrust, the craving for a second release growing inside you too.

He rocked into you much harder and faster than before, so much so that the bed thudded hard against the wall. A distinct thumping sound along with the creaking of the bed could be heard beside your moans - which were already quite loud. You loved the transition Bucky made from soft to rough in the blink of an eye.

You thanked the lord that there were no neighbours around you, or else they would have had a very good idea of how good you and Bucky were doing each other. 

He leaned down to capture your lips in a heated, open mouthed kiss. Your noses bumped into each other as you kissed wetly and noisily. You breathed the same air, the common goal of reaching the end blaring in your minds. Squelching sounds filled the room as Bucky fucked your cum drenched pussy.

All the sensations flowing through your body overwhelmed you. It didn’t take long for another orgasm to claim you. This one was much more powerful than the last time. You came with a shuddering breath, your legs shaking from the sheer force of it, pleasure blazing through your veins.

Bucky was not far behind, cuming in short bursts inside the heat of your pussy, his thick cum adding on to the load already inside you. Hoarse moans left him, his eyes contorting in pleasure. 

Panting heavily, his body sagged over yours, but he was careful not to crush you with his weight. He carefully pulled himself out of you. His forehead was leaning against yours. Both your eyes were still shut from bliss and exhaustion. Your hands were resting on his shoulders and around his neck. Giddy, satisfied smiles played on both your lips as you calmed down from the high. 

Bucky would have lazed about for longer if it wasn’t for the horrified gasp that left your throat a few moments later. Preparing for the worst, Bucky opened his eyes and followed your gaze to the bedside table. The torch projected a divergent beam of white light on the opposing wall. It meant only one thing.

_FRIDAY had solved the blackout problem!_

If that was true, then-

_Shit!_

Bucky scrambled for the comms kept beside the torch in a hurry. Handing you one of them, Bucky quickly put the other in his ear and rushed breathlessly, “This is Sergeant Barnes. Does anyone copy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the epilogue, skip to the next chapter "Extra #1" (ch.12) in the index to read what happens right after this scene. It is just for fun which I hadn’t intended on adding.


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Fluff. 
> 
> Chapter/Trigger warning: Language? Implied sexy times.
> 
> And it’s finally done! It’s a weird feeling tbh. I will be starting a 3 part miniseries in Nov. with Bucky x (Steve’s lil sis)!reader. I will try to update it once every two weeks. Keep an eye out for it if interested. Hope you like this part!

The air rushed past him in a gentle breeze, creating a soft whooshing sound in his ear. It ruffled the short strands of his silky hair as it flew by, from, and to the unknown. It was a wildly different feeling than when he had longer hair, but that had been years ago, and now he had become accustomed to it. 

There was a crisp note in the air around him, a fleeting hint of gloom and grief sublimed freely in the open sky. It reflected a part of him, though a small one. For now he had someone to share the sorrows and joys of his life. A soothing shoulder to rely on in times of need, a pretty pair of lips to kiss while celebrating. 

The soil beneath him was forgiving as it had always been. It’s soul reached out to him as if comforting yet another beauty of mother nature with its gentle hands. Adorned with dirt and green grass blades, the plane of the vast span of land before was flat to its borders. Seemingly unbroken, except for the headstones that littered the space in a standardized manner, not giving away that it covered the loved ones previously buried.

Bucky sat between two such headstones, the ground beneath him somewhat damp. _George M. Barnes_ and _Winnifred C. Barnes_ were etched onto the rough grey stones, worn through the decades but standing tall and strong on the grass-covered land. A beautiful bouquet garnished the green tuft in front of each headstone. 

The sun was shyly hidden behind the fluffy pearly clouds. Lack of direct sunlight drilling into his eyes was appreciated when he craned his neck to look up. A peaceful smile overtook his lips, it’s mirth reaching his eyes. The kid inside him, who believed that heaven rested on the magnificent clouds floating undefeated in the whole large sky, saw his parents exultant and lively atop those plush clouds. For if heaven and hell existed, his parents were surely resting in heaven, happy together for all eternity.

Bucky missed his parents - he missed all of his family which he had left while getting drafted in the previous century. He wasn’t sure if it was good news or bad that the closest of his blood family members, his parents and sisters, were deceased when he was truly alive. If their obits were anything to go by, they died with the knowledge that Bucky was a fallen soldier killed in action, who died a hero, protecting his best friend, his brother; long before the identity of the Winter Soldier was released. World’s deadliest assassin alive. Also the longest prisoner of war. Now an Avenger, one of the earth’s mightiest heroes not only in name but also in deeds. Dating another mighty hero, if not mightier than him, for a few years now. Bucky himself had only pleasant, joyous memories, even if faded, of his family to carry to the end of his days. 

When he closed his eyes, Bucky could feel the tender, loving touch of his mother’s hands petting his head and the cheerful pats of a proud father on his back vibrant smiled adorning their joyous faces after he told them of his decision. He could feel their blessing being showered on him as the light wind whooshed by him a tad bit faster. As if rushing to deliver to him and whispering to him their best wishes. Though a sense of longing still persisted, it brought Bucky nothing but an aura of calm. 

The package he had picked up the previous evening was safe in the pocket of his jacket. 

The room was appropriately dimmed as the thick, heavy curtains prevented the harsh afternoon sun rays from breaking in. Only an amicable amount of light was left behind, enough to let you nap without shrouding the room in night-like darkness. 

Your head laid comfortably on Bucky’s chest, your cheek adorably smushed against his bare skin. An arm and a leg were thrown over his body loosely, somehow holding his body down with too much strength for someone who was asleep. His metal arm was curled over your middle, his sleek fingers drawing mindless patterns on your skin under your soft shirt. Your body was soft and warm against him as you leaned on him despite the expensive mattress. Alpine laid atop his midriff too, the fluffy white feline curled in on himself as he napped with you.

With the serum still running through his veins, Bucky didn’t need as much rest as a normal human being. But he lived for moments such as these, being under the warm covers with your body pressed tightly against his as he held you close. He loved being your _human pillow_ as you liked to call him. To him, you yourself was comfort personified to him. He could just stay on his bed with you forever and beyond.

A lovesick smile overtook his face as his thoughts drifted to the package. He had talked about it to you a few weeks ago. Knowing that you were comfortable with the idea too was important to him, of course.

It had been a few years since that wonderful week in the cabin where you two had grown closer than ever. Every moment spent with you was a piece of heaven in its own right. His heart blossomed like pretty tulips in spring at the mere thought of it. Kissing the back of your head affectionately like he always did, Bucky closed his eyes to simply bask in the blissful moment. His thoughts again drifted back to the package.

The velvet box housing a beautiful ring with which he would soon go down on one knee for you.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skip to "Extra #2" (ch.13) in the index to find out what happens between the cemetery and the bedroom scenes.
> 
> Now that the series is complete, I would really appreciate some feedback, even the simplest and the smallest ones.
> 
> P.S. Again, keep an eye out for the Bucky x (Steve’s lil sis)!reader mini-series if interested.


	12. Extra #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place right after ch.10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Fluff. Crack fic.
> 
> Chapter/Trigger warning: Language. Implied sexy times.
> 
> I wrote this very short fluff at the end which I hadn’t planned, but now I don’t have the heart not to post it. So it’s added as “extra.”

Bucky didn’t get a reply. Pin drop silence followed. Had it not been slight static which only his sensitive hearing could pick up, he would have thought the comms weren’t working. But slight static was present, even if you couldn’t pick it up. The line was connected, but for some reason, he didn’t know what, he wasn’t getting any response. 

Bucky glanced at you in case you had heard anything. You shook your head. Bucky was about to repeat himself when a voice crackled through the comms.

“Uhhhh……”

A long silence followed. Bucky was wondering what the hell was going on when a sound poured through the comms again.

“Are you guys… _done_?”

It was a different voice. _Rhodey and Sam_ , Bucky realized. It hit you at the same time, your wide panicked eyes meeting his own. 

They had heard! Oh lord, they had heard both of you moaning at the top of your lungs!

A deep blush covered your already flustered cheeks, embarrassment engulfing you whole. Bucky seemed to have the exact same reaction, his cheeks turning a dark red which you would’ve found cute had it not been for your current situation.

Before either of you could say anything, FRIDAY chimed, “Judging by the lack of high pitched screams, my system concludes that Agent Y/L/N and Sergeant Barnes are done with copulation, Captain Wilson.” As if having a teasing mind of her own, the AI added, “For the moment.”

It wasn’t possible for you to blush any harder. But you did. Your cheeks felt on fire with the amount of blood rushing into it.

“Thank you FRIDAY,” Rhodey jumped in to save both of you from further embarrassment, “That’d be enough for now.”

With a strange voice, as if unsure whether to laugh hysterically or kill you both, Sam tried to sound as professional as possible when he said, “A jet is en route to your location. The expected arrival time is T minus 6 hours. Scott volunteered to fly the jet and bring you two back.”

“I’m…glad?” You said, unsure how to react. You were happy to know that you’d be taken back to the compound soon, but the embarrassment clouding your brain kept you from comprehending and celebrating the news.

“Yeah, um, we just wanted to let you know that. Hope you two are safe.” Rhodey said.

Sam quipped from the side with his signature smirk, “Oh, they’re more than fine." 

"Scott will contact you soon. Establish a line with FRIDAY if you need anything else.” Rhodey hurriedly said before disconnecting.

You hid your face in your palms. “I can’t believe that happened.”

Bucky pulled you on his lap, his hand petting the back of your head as you further hid yourself in his neck. After overcoming the momentary shock, he chuckled. “Wow…Out of all the ways I thought we’d tell our friends, I never imagined they’d find out this way.”

You chuckled too, “Me either,” You continued after a pause. “It’s going to be one hell of a talk when we will tell the others.”

Bucky hummed his agreement. “I’m worried about Sam though. About how he would react.” He said, biting his lips. “You’re practically his family at this point. He might get really overprotective over you.”

You pulled back to look at him and laughed, “That’d be very cute of him if he’d become overprotective of me.” You interlaced your fingers with his, squeezing his palm. “I know Sam. So relax. He’ll understand and support us, I’m sure of it. He might kick your sweet ass though, but he will still support us.”

Bucky laughed along with you, believing your words and. He had faith in the bond you shared with your best friend. If you said Sam would understand, Bucky had no doubts about it. He also didn’t doubt that his ass was due for a whipping by the new Captain America. 

Bucky knew he’d endure anything and everything, whether jokingly or seriously, if that meant he got to be with, to love you forever and ever. He had been fortunate enough to gain a friend like you, to have you love him as he loved you.

Because in the end all that mattered was he trusted you and you trusted him. You loved him and he loved you. 

Forever and ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the ending sounds really cheesy. But the main chapter 10 is what the actual ending is. This is just for fun. Enjoy I guess :P


	13. Extra #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happens during the epilogue, between the cemetery and the bedroom scenes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m too indecisive for my own good. It’s the last of the additions to the series. I couldn’t just leave Sam Wilson out of their story. So here it is, some Sam Wilson platonic fluff! Takes place after the cemetery scene but before the bedroom one.

“…you’re practically her only family left. It felt right to ask you.”

The men stood on the balcony, overlooking the rebuilt lake of the compound which glistened under the morning sun. Both of them leaned on the sturdy railing, a thoughtful look on their faces as they conversed. 

Two men brought together by a man of the past, whose memory would live on forever and ever. Two men who turned from strangers to enemies to friends who they trusted their lives with.

Sam felt ecstatic not only to hear the news he did but also at being asked the question he was. He didn’t even have to think about the answer. It was already predecided even before Bucky had asked about it. Though he wouldn’t give it to Bucky this easily. He wanted to toy with his partner first. When did he not?

Sam took a deep breath a while later and straightened his back as if going hard over what he had heard and actually had to formulate the right answer. He meant every word he said with the utmost seriousness. 

“You know she is the only family I have left too, right?” After Bucky nodded, he continued, “If you hurt her, man, I swear I’ll chop you with one of your freakishly sharp knives and feed the pieces to Alpine.”

Bucky chuckled heartily, unable to stop himself. Any nerves he had felt were replaced with lightheartedness. He had no doubts about it. Hell, if he made you cry sad tears, he’d himself surrender his body to Sam and the team to torture as they wished. 

The two friends conversed further, laughing and enjoying the moment as they hugged at the end.

The package in the pocket of his jacket awaited its future.

He hadn’t meant to, but it happened. 

As Bucky trudged along the corridor, on his way to meet Rhodey, he heard his name. Naturally, he stopped and searched for the source with eager ears. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. It wasn’t his fault he could hear more or less just fine through the walls.

Despite not being able to see through the walls - in spite of his enhancements, Bucky wasn’t Superman, no matter how hard he wished he was - Bucky was sure you and Sam sat crisscrossed on the countertop in the kitchen beyond the wall, snacking in a manner that would make Thor and the Hulk blush.

“By the way, how are things with you and Bucky?” It was what had made Bucky stop midway.

“They’re great. They’re awesome But you already know that Sam.” You said. A frown overtook your face at the question directed at you out of the blue. “Why? Is everything alright?”

_That bastard!_ Bucky cursed inside his head, unsure where this was leading to. He pressed himself closer to the wall.

Sam mentally rolled his eyes. Of course he knew how great your and Bucky’s relationship was. It was the reason he had shifted his room from beside yours to the other side of the compound under the guise of a change of scenery. The walls really weren’t as soundproof as he had initially thought them to be. It was also hard not to see how disgustingly adorable of a couple you made even after all these years.

“Yeah, everything’s alright.” Sam paused for a couple of seconds and continued. “It’s just that I’ve been thinking…We don’t know what the future holds for us. You and Bucky are doing great right now for sure but in case, and I’m only saying in case something changes in the future and if, again, if the two of you aren’t doing as great as now…You know I’d kill you if you hurt him, right? He’s a close friend.”

“Are you alright?” You asked Sam with a laugh bubbling out of you. 

_Oh, that bastard!_ Bucky chuckled inwardly. Already feeling guilty about listening in on your conversation without your knowledge, he continued on his way down the hall.

The package bounced inside the pocket of his jacket as the man with a Wakandan bionic arm literally walked with a skip in his step.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! There is going to be lots of soft!bucky cuddling and pinning in the upcoming chapters, I don’t live in a place where it snows and I don’t really know how people hold up or how the houses actually are in such places. Sorry for the inaccuracies you find. Good or bad, your feedback is always welcome!


End file.
